The Dishwasher Repairman Cometh... or not

Do you remember that PBS show, where people would move into a town set in some previous time in history? The one I remember is Colonial House only because Oprah went with her BFF Gayle. They were so funny!

Well, my house is just like that-- the colonial part, not the funny part. Well, OK, sometimes the funny part.

All right, so maybe its an exaggeration to say that we are exactly like Colonial House, but we're close. I would say that living without a dishwasher for FIVE weeks makes us somewhat primitive.

What you ask? Didn't you just get a new dishwasher? Why, how astute of you, yes I did back when I had refrigerator lust, committing one of the Seven Deadly Sins. For those of you who need a fresher coarse about the Seven Deadly Sins--

1) Lusting after shiny, stainless steel refrigerators.
2)Gluttony when I have been to Starbucks 2 days in a row, OK, OK,I confess 3.
3)Greed by adopting 3 Asian babies.
4)Slothfullness by spending so much time on the computer instead of folding those 4 loads of towels upstairs.
5)Wrath that is about to be unleashed on Best Buy.
6)Envy which I suppose would go along with refrigerator lust.
7)Pride which has been worn down to make me stoop to things I never would have considered doing.

Now not only have we had a refresher course on the Deadly Seven but we realize I am a hopeless sinner.

But back to the dishwasher.

On Thursday, July 31 I discovered that my not yet 2 month old dishwasher wouldn't drain so like any logical person, I called the people who installed it: Best Buy. On Saturday, August 2, they sent a repairman. I admit that I worried about Best Buy coming out only because I was worried that Mike the Plumber, AKA Mike the Contractor might have morphed into Mike the Repairman. And we know what trouble we got into with Mike. But since the dishwasher was a floor model without a manual (do people actually look at those???) it didn't come with the ever so important "warranty card." Only too bad for me, 'cause I didn't realize it until my dishwasher broke.

{Note to self: Take a break from Junie B Jones books because you're sounding a little too much like her.}

So I took my chances and low and behold it wasn't Mike! It was some other guy who said he needed to order a part and to call back in 4-5 business days if I hadn't heard back.

Que dark moody music.

I wish it had been Mike.

A week goes by and I call. After multiple transfers and holds they ask questions like "when did the repairman come out?" "Did he say he was ordering the part?" I was not getting a good feeling about the situation but they said to call back in 4-5 business days if I hadn't heard anything.

In the meantime I'm playing Little Suzy Homemaker washing dishes 4+ times a day for 7 people, oblivious to reality thinking my dishwasher will be fixed any day.

I call back a week later and after multiple holds and transfers they ask the same questions!!! When I push for some answers they tell me there is a note on my file to call me in 2 business days. Only 2 days later they still hadn't called.

I now realized were are in a hostage situation.

Day 16: We are still without our dishwasher and have finally broken down and started eating all meals on paper plates and using plastic forks and spoons. We have no idea why we are being held hostage-- so far our captor has given us no clues. We can only hope our crisis ends soon.

I admit by the third week I was getting worn down and somewhat cranky. I called on a Tuesday and spent 20 minutes on hold after 10 minutes of transfers only to be disconnected. I called again on Thursday with a repeat of Tuesday-- disconnected again! I call back and at one transfer spot when the woman told me she was transferring me and I said no she wasn't because I would get lost again. I was on the phone for an hour and 10 minutes and didn't learn anything new. She said someone from customer service would call me back in 10 minutes. Good thing I didn't hold my breath.

I thought about trying to invoke the Geneva Convention rules but soon realized that the Geneva Convention doesn't have anything relating to broken dishwashers. It figures, the Geneva Convention was written by a bunch of men who never washed a dish in their life.

Day 21: We're getting desperate for answers. I've decided to meet the captors face to face to find out how long they plan to continue our captivity.

I happened to be by the Best Buy where I had purchased my appliances so I decided to drop in and see if I could get some answers there. One of the appliance sales people told me that he would call and get some answers. He even told me I could leave and call him or come back. I was so excited. He seemed to care that I had been 3 weeks without a dishwasher. Finally, I was getting some answers!

I went to Office Max next door and came back. The salesmen was off the phone. He told me that the part hadn't been ordered until August 14. The second phone call I made to them! Fine, whatever, when was the part coming in? He told me that parts usually took 2 weeks to get in.

I was crabby again. "So you're telling me that it will be another week before the part comes in?"

"Yes, its only been one week."

"No," I tried to explain, "Its been three weeks."

"No, it's only been one week since we ordered the part."

"But its been three weeks since the repairman came out! Why should I have to suffer because your repair people are too inept to order the part?"

He kind of shrugged his shoulders. I think this guy would be a good presidential candidate: fake sympathy, funny illogical math skills, indifference when he can't do anything to fix the situation. Yep, he's got my vote.

Day 33: Dishes are piling up around us. A small forest has sacrificed itself for our tableware. My hands are dry, shriveled up prunes. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out. Its time to take matters into my own hands.

Its obvious that reasoning with these people hasn't done any good so I decided that it was time to take it to the next level. It occurred to me that Best Buy is full of dishwashers. I have formulated a plan:

Tomorrow I'm taking baskets full of dishes up to the showroom and I'm going to start loading them into the display models. That should get their attention.

I bet they'll fix my dishwasher ASAP, that or throw me in jail. Either way I don't have to do dishes. Its a win/win situation.