Wednesday, September 17, 2008

When Babies Plot Against You

Our mornings are usually pretty laid back. I get up about 6:45 to make breakfast for Ross and Julia. They both head off to school about 7:30. I then have a half an hour to get myself ready and then get Jenna up at 8:00. Ryan and Emma usually get up between 8:00 and 8:30. And then we take Jenna to school a little after 9:00.

But yesterday morning was different. It was "Field Trip Tuesday," the day that my sister-in-law, Janne', and I get out together. Field Trip Tuesday's are exciting stuff. Our first trip was Janne's first trip to Costco and I was there to show her around. Subsequent Tuesday's have included more trips to Costco, a music store and my brother's middle school, where he is the principal. Exciting stuff. Even more so when you include the four children we take with us-- my Ryan and Emma and Janne's daughter Caitlin, 3, and her nephew Trevor, 2. But it always starts with a trip to Starbucks and it includes adult conversation. Did someone say Starbucks? Count me in!

Our usual trips start around 10:00 but this morning we were taking a birthday treat to Janne's sister, Geri, during her planning period at the high school where she teaches. This meant that I had to have the babies and myself up, dressed and ready to go by the time I leave to take Jenna to school at 9:05 9:13. Not normally a problem but since we were going to the high school I decided I needed to wear my Ed Hardy shirt.

My Ed Hardy shirt is the shirt that I got from my makeover. Its not something I would normally pick for myself but now that I have it I like it. (I guess that's kind of the point of a makeover, huh?) I had never heard of Ed Hardy before but Ross knew all about him. Apparently Ed's pretty cool. I saw the price tag and decided Ed's also quite proud. With all of this in mind I realize the "specialness" of Ed and the shirt has become an entity of itself. I thought about wearing Ed this past Saturday but I just didn't measure up enough to wear him. I was not worthy. I was determined to be worthy on Tuesday. But this meant that I couldn't do my usual put on a little makeup and run a brush through my hair. A flat iron was in order, as well as hair products. Oh, and a little more eye makeup.

This still wouldn't be a problem if things went well. {Que laughter} I think we've figured out by now that things just don't go well in this house.

The first shift of kids was up, fed and out the door. I had made pancakes for breakfast and made enough so that the little ones had enough to eat and I didn't have to cook again. This gave me more time to make myself Ed worthy.

Jenna got up at 8:00 and was in the process of getting dressed when both Ryan and Emma woke up. By this time I had my makeup done and my hair dry. My flat iron was heating up. While I waited I decided to start changing bottoms and dressing some babies. I stripped Emma down and went to grab a diaper from the side of my bed and there were none there. I had used the last one in the middle of the night. So I took a chance and left her bare bottomed on my bed. When I returned I found a very large wet spot on my bed. Heavy sigh. Wet wipes were used, her bottom was covered and she was quickly placed on the floor so I could strip the bed and start the washing machine.

8:15 status: Jenna is dressed, Ryan is in pajamas and Emma is in only a diaper. Flat iron is ready.

I started to work on my hair while the little ones played around me. Emma crawled from the bedroom into my bathroom where I keep a small tub of toys for her to play with. I looked over at her and saw her diaper was falling off. And it was packing heat. I then looked behind me to see a trail of spots on the carpet.

I promise that I won't gross you out, although I am very, very ashamed to say for one brief millisecond I thought to myself "where's my camera?" No, I'll spare you details but let's just say I don't think I'll be feeding her corn for awhile. Enough said! More wipes were used, a new diaper was snugly put into place and then massive amounts of wet wipes, Lysol and Febreeze were called into active duty.

8:30 status: Jenna is dressed, Ryan is still in pajamas and Emma is only in a diaper, her second in only a matter of minutes that I considered duct taping on. My flat iron is ready and about 1/3 of my hair is straightened while the rest is in a pony tail holder on top of my head. Bam Bam would have found me very appealing.

I quickly finished straightening my hair, put on Ed, dressed the babies and took them downstairs for breakfast. Thank goodness the pancakes were made! I gave a pancake to Emma, and then put peanut butter and syrup on Ryan and Jenna's and then set off upstairs to find socks and shoes. The kids finished up eating while I made sure Jenna had her school items. By now it was about 9:00 and we needed to head out the door but no one was wearing footwear. So I left Emma in her high chair and started putting socks and shoes on Ryan. When I got to Emma I discover that she had grabbed Ryan's paper plate of the counter and was covered in syrup.

I ran upstairs to find new outfit. Washed her hands and face, threw all 3 kids in the car and pulled out of the garage so we could get Jenna to school and to Janne's house on time. By the time we got there I was a tad bit stressed out.

Emma may have won a few rounds in the battle but I still made it to Starbucks.
Dishwasher update: Two calls to Best Buy, 2 calls to 2 different TV stations "Call to Action" and no change
After my post on Sunday when no one mentioned my "Paint skills" I was feeling a bit sophomoric. But then I read this post on Because I Said So. I think I'm in good company.


joanna and scott said...

Your posts crack me up!! You write so well, I feel like I was there!! Thanks for the pink bear, I love it!! It's in Laila's crib waiting for a trip to China!!

Amanda @ said...

Holy Cow! It's so nice to know that I'm not the only one :)

amanda @

Kristin said...

I had to laugh about this post because I have SO been there. I am just glad it was you instead of me today. Sorry!! :-)