Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Derelict Easter Bunny

I know you all have me on a pedestal as the Perfect Mother. And why wouldn't you? Seriously? Never mind me sending Jenna to school in her pajamas, forgetting to send items to school that the kids need, being late to functions, taking away bottles, my messy house, getting frustrated with bean wars. Okay, I get the point. I'm not perfect, far from it. But just in case you had any doubts, I have new evidence to seal the verdict.

Way, way back in February right around Mardi Gras (aka the beginning of the Lenten Season) Easter Candy began making an appearance. And guess what? I bought some. Seriously? Seriously.

(Sorry, seriously is like my new go-to word. Kind of the way okay was my go-to word in my interview. Okay?)

Ross loves Reese's peanut butter eggs so I bought around 6 bags of it. Back in February. And I put it in the pantry. It doesn't take a rocket scientist (or physicist) to figure out that by April said candy would be gone. Yeah, it was gone by March. But let the record show that I made an attempt. Okay? Seriously.

This morning I woke up and realized that I hadn't bought the kids Easter stuff. And hermit that I've become, I wondered if there was anyway around going out to get it. Obviously, unless I could suddenly lay chocolate eggs I was going out. Of course, I could have made our own hand made chocolate Easter bunnies. While I was searching On Demand for the latest episode of Survivor there was a preview of Martha Stewart making a hand made chocolate Easter Bunny. Seriously? People do that? (Okay, you totally have to admit that that particular seriously was so totally appropriate.)

For the record, people may do that but I don't do that. Maybe once upon a time, in a land far, far away I would have. But then I got a life. Okay a pseudo life, but a life none the less. I was going out.

I put the two little ones down for a nap and cleaned up my house getting ready for our Easter dinner tomorrow checked out my email and Facebook. I should have been cleaning but you know that previous pseudo life I mentioned? Yeah, checking my email and Facebook is part of it and cleaning isn't. But before I could drag myself away from the computer and out the door protesting all the way, Emma began to cry and ultimately ended up going with me.

After a lot of thought, I decided to go to Target and upon arriving there discovered that there was only one side of half an aisle of Easter stuff. Seriously??? No chocolate bunnies. No Easter basket or even grass. Definitely no Reese's peanut butter eggs. Uh oh.

When in doubt or in times of crisis, cross your mythical creatures/beings. Easter bunny's going arctic ghetto. He's bringing gifts.

As I made my way to the DVD's and toys I was patting myself on the back (may I suggest you not try this in public and if you still insist on it that you stretch your arm out first) telling myself not only what a genius I was but also what a wonderful, organic mother I was. We're talking Mother of the Year quality here! Instead of providing a basket full of sugar and chocolate I was providing material possessions, neither of which has anything to do with the resurrection of Jesus. I got all the kids a DVD, part of which was entirely selfish. Shrek has returned into the van DVD feature film rotation and I need something fresh. (Yes, it is all about me.) I also got the four younger ones a inexpensive toy. I decided what to get them all with the exception of Emma. Then I discovered a Yo Gabba Gabba toy. Foofa who talked. Jack pot. Emma saw. Emma wanted. Emma got. I underestimated the Will of Emma.

Like, where have I been the last 3 weeks? Seriously????

When we checked out, I took the Foofa doll, currently in its box, and handed it to the cashier. Not good. Screaming and crying ensued. And continued even after Foofa was returned to Emma's hands. Because, hello! She was deeply offended and you just can't let that go. It continued until we got to the van and then returned after I made the mistake of taking Foofa out of her box. Girl likes her packaging. Okay?

I now had 2 problems. The first: I still needed some kind of candy. Seriously, it is the Easter Bunny. And the second: There was no way Foofa was leaving those fingers.

The first was solved by CVS pharmacy. They were picked over but I scraped some candy out of the store. The second: no solution there. Thank goodness Emma's too young to compare her basket to her siblings.


For those of you who have missed me, my absence will be addressed in my very own version of a Sunday Sound Out. No worries that no one has actually asked me any questions. Details, details. Don't you know I can read minds?


kodeekins said...

I'd offer you my left over candy but somehow I don't think it would be there in time. I was equally lax and didn't start to even think about Easter until Friday, though somehow ended up with enough toys/candy to fill Gauge's (pink) basket and still have a whole Wal-mart bag of chocolates left. Reese's peanut butter eggs included.

WhisperingWriter said...

I could never make my own chocolate bunny. It's easier for me to fork over two bucks to buy one in the store. If I tried to make my own I'd just make a huge mess in my kitchen. Things would burn, I'd end up balled up on the floor in yes, buying my own bunny is the safest measure.

My daughter loves Yo Gabba Gabba. She has that Foofa doll and loves it. And we have the creepy Brobee one that apparently likes to have parties in his tummy.

Denise said...

Whispering Writer, see-- it isn't just me? Why go to all that energy and effort when you kids probably wouldn't like it anyway because the bunny was crossed? Besides, BUYING the bunnies stimulates the economy and makes us Good Americans!

As for Brobee, I hadn't really given much thought to the "party in my tummy" but now that you mention it, its merely a few inches from a party in his pants. I always did think there was something shady about him.... with those exceptionally long arms and all.

Denise said...

Uh, that would be a cross eyed bunny. I haven't even been drinking! I swear!

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

May I suggest...when shopping at Target with young children, bring a reusable shopping bag. Use it to hide all the items you don't want your kids to see (i.e. toys, candy you won't share with them, etc.) and when you get to checkout have them scan the items right in the bag. It's a lifesaver!

I speak from experience...but do beware that you look like you are shoplifting and might be shadowed by security. A small price to pay for a tantrum-less kid, though.

Stop by when you get a chance...I'm doing my first ever giveaway!

I'm glad you are "back." Happy Easter! Hope all the kids enjoy there baskets!

Angel said...

Seriously, I agree with Carey on the bag hing. I have one of those bags you are supposed to reuse for the envoirment but actually (don't tell) I hide things in it I don't want Tasha to see Seriously.
Nexttime try Walmart...

Tammy Howard said...

Okay, seriously. We may have passed each other in Target yesterday... There was no - anything. My kids got gifts, too. So then late - AFTER dinner - after a LATE dinner - I went to the grocery store to try to enhance it a little. They had TONS of stuff day before yesterday...


As for chocolate bunnies - are we just talking melting chocolate and pouring it into a mold? 'Cause I'd totally do that, I guess. I made chocolate covered eggs with three different fillings (peanut butter, coconut and butter cream, since you've asked) one year. They were delicious but really really ugly. No-one appreciated my Marthulean effort, though, and since it's all about my ego, I never revisited that particular endeavor...

Oh - and I, also, have e-mail and Facebook as serious commitments in my pseudo-life while cleaning - good heaven's! Who has time for that? They don't even appreciate it when I make hand dipped chocolate Easter eggs. You think they're gonna care if I dust the bookshelf or not? But my cyber-peeps? They appreciate me...

Denise said...

Tammy, no not the molded bunnies. I would actually do those! No this was MARTHA STEWART! Somehow she had made the chocolate varying sizes of balls and had attached some of the with melted chocolate in a decorators bag. I didn't pay a whole lot of attention because the babies were napping and time was limited.

Sparcam said...

So, my DH LOVES to shop for "bargains" on the holiday. He found none. The aisles were cleaned out. I, too resorted to nice gifts and zero candy other than what was already in the candy jar from G-ma. Happy Easter!

piecemeal people said...

I laughed right out loud when I saw the title of this post, and before I even read it, because last night I wrote a post and titled it, "Procrastination: the Easter Bunny edition." :)

Kristin said...

LOL!!! I swear it sounds like I was reading a version of my own Saturday, as I ran around town searching for anything, and I mean anything, that the bunny could bring! Seriously!

You crack me up!
And of course any post with Emma is always a hit with me! :)

Happy Easter Denise!!


Christina said...

Seriously, the seriously catch-phrase is what I'm currently stuck on too!

I also was doing my shopping on Saturday night. Slim pickins folks! My son (he's 10) almost ended up with a hot pink Hannah Montana bucket. Luckily we found some re-usable plastic baskets. We found a few candies including Reese's PB eggs and the kids... they got Visa Gift Cards! Seriously... I kid you not! My kids got gift cards.... They loved it too!

Kay Bratt said...

[copied from my own comments] I made up a small silver bucket with baby blue grass, a few marshmallow bunnies, chocolate eggs, new mascara and eyeliner and a $15 gift card for my teen. She didn't look too thrilled. Then I was like, "Sorry it's not much..." and SHE said, "Well, thank you,'s the thought that counts..." Then I WAS LIKE....." know that was about $35 worth of stuff?" [I wasn't feeling the gratitude] and she and I sparred back and forth for awhile until she gave me a thank you hug. Ugg...teenagers! It was much better when they were little and were happy with a bunch of colored eggs and candy..

Jill said...

Here's the deal...I am not a YO GABBA GABBA fan (Sam is) but that little Foofa is adorable! SO...yes I am a sucker!

I bet the kids were absolutely PLEASED with their Easter loot!

The Johnson 5 said...

We got all the way to Tennessee on Friday and I realized I forgot ALL my Easter bunny stuff in my closet!

Wal Mart in Dunlap, Tennessee was picked over but I made it work. I was stressed about it at first but the kids never knew the difference!

I'm glad you all had a great Easter!

Brandy said...

Okay I missed this post because I spent some serious time in the kitchen and shopping for my own Easter goodies. Okay, I have plenty of candy (courteous of CVS too!) but I still had to get shoes, clothes and other stuff. Which I seriously spent too much money on.