Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Cougar

When I write a blog post, I sit in a quiet spot with soothing music playing in the background while scented candles are burning around me. I'm filled with peace and serenity as the sounds of the tap, tap, tap of the keys echo in the deathly quiet room.

Yeah, right. When I write anything I have to have some kind of noise around me. When I work on my book I usually listen to music, and not soothing music. Loud music with a heavy beat. That's just one clue of many that Trace inherited his ADD from his mother. (I've never officially been diagnosed but many people have accused me of it and it wasn't without merit.) Many parents of children with ADD or ADHD have a hard time understanding why their kids need noise around them as they study. I so totally get it.

So usually when I write my blog posts, often after the kids are in bed, I have the TV on and sometimes I even pay attention to it a little bit. Last night was no exception. I was channel surfing trying to find something to watch and I happened upon a show I had seen advertised.

Hmm, maybe I want to be a cougar too. I did practice my cougar growl with Demi from the Unreal Housewives of Kansas City. I decided to watch and see if it was for me.

Then again maybe it's not.

Meet Stacey, a 40 year old commercial real estate agent with four kids. She thinks men her own age are boring and lack spontaneity and a "zest for life." Stacey's looking for a 20 something guy to spend the rest of her life with 'cause we all know how deep 20 something guys are.

The Cougar is brought to us by the creator's of The Bachelor so it came as no surprise that The Cougar makes her appearance and meets her baby's in waiting men in front of the The Cougar Mansion. Stacey was the center of attention (of course) as the men were in a semi circle around her (just like kindergarten!) waiting for their chance to make their introduction.

Oh my goodness!!! Each one was trying to out do the other with their introduction and the one who impressed her the most got one on one time first. Oh my goodness! The testosterone was flying because who has more testosterone then 2o something guys? Teen ages boys, but that probably would be illegal so they had to go with the guys in their 20's. Who could have impressed her the most? I was on pins and needles waiting to see.

It was Travis.
Meet geeky Travis who just turned 21 and impressed her by presenting her with a champagne glass. He poured them both a glass of champagne and told her it was one of the first times he had drank alcohol. Ah, that's so sweet. He's totally into anything "boarding," skate boards, snow boards. Maybe she could drop him off at the skate park later. Travis was rewarded with a nice kiss after their little chat. I hope it was legal. Maybe she should have carded him first...

It was the first of many kisses for Stacey.

Here she is kissing some other guy during their little chat. Isn't that sweet? She doesn't want anyone to feel left out. Only she has to, because before the night is over she has to "kiss off" 5 of the 20 men in the room.

Say what? Kiss off??? Instead of handing out roses, the Cougar's handing out kisses, or not. If she lets you kiss her on the lips you're in! If she turns her cheek, you're outta there! Hope Stacey brought some chapstick with her. Before the night was over she kissed 15 guys, some multiple times. Cougar gets around.

I found it interesting that as she talked to the guys, she seemed more interested in the guys who weren't into responsibility, but then maybe I misread her. Because, she must totally be looking to settle down with a young little whipper snapper. I also have to say that as I watched the boys hangin' out that I was more than a little grossed out thinking out dating one of these guys. But maybe that's just me. Can you imagine me with a 20 something guy? He'd just blend in with all my kids. "Brody! I told you that you couldn't go to the skate park until you cleaned up your room!" Oops! I've got enough babies, thank you very much.

What's the term for dating a guy less than 10 years younger? If a 40 year old dating a guy 12-19 years younger is a Cougar, maybe 5-10 years younger is a wild barn cat can be a Liger.

Remember the mythical creature created by Napoleon Dynamite? It was bred for it's skills in magic. Cool. Maybe I could use those magic skills. You're just jealous because I spent 2 hours chatting with babe's in a chat room.

Make you own dang casadilla Brody!

(Sorry, couldn't resist the Napoleon quotes/adaptations!)


Tammy Howard said...

Ah - Napoleon Dynamite first thing in the morning. Bless your heart.

I didn't watch the show but just from the commercials - ewwwwww! Your synopsis didn't help it's case.

My husband is two years younger and for a while there when people heard that they would call me a cradle robber. I thank the cougars for at least taking that moniker away. But half my age? No thanks.

Kristin said...

LOL! That was hilarious! I love Napoleon Dynamite! ha!

That show does sound very weird and disturbing. What kind of woman would act like that for a date?

Bren said...

I am sure I am a minority here but my husband is 13 years younger than I am. We started dating before the whole "cougar" term came about and yes I felt really weird about it. Turns out we were very right for each other (married almost three years now) and very happy. I didn't go looking for a much younger guy (wasn't looking for anyone at all)and it has it's pitfalls (what will he think when I'm 50 and he's 37) but for now we couldn't be happier. He's a very smart, hardworking, loving man. These shows make me go "eewwww" too and I guess in today's terms, I am a cougar?!?!

Jessica said...

I came across that show too and lasted on it for about 2 sec b/c it looks so creepy!

Brandy said...

LOVE NP! I literally LOL'd after the casadilla quote.

And I hope THE cougar doesn't get THE mono.

Anita said...

The previews for that show alone made me go EWWWW. I can see exactly how it's the reverse bachelor etc, eww again.
My husband is 6 years younger than me, and I've gotten the cradle robber thing too, get over it people, I was 29, he was 23, I wasn't dating him when he was in 6th grade...LOL. Now I just happen to be aging well and no one thinks I look that much older.
Denise, thanks for ensuring I can skip this show....LOL.

Jules said...

Man-I hate those dating shows! And this one sounds just as gross . . .

BTW-there is such a thing as a Liger-it wasn't made up by the writers of Napolean Dynamite. There are even some photos of some. I'll see if I can dig them up-they're cool.

Jules said...

Pretty cool-and I can exactly remember which is which-but there are ligers and tigrons. Male tiger/female lion mix and Male Lion/female tiger mix.

Jules said...

whoops-Tigon, not tigron.

So-it's the Jules hour in your comments right now!

Thank you, thank you-I'll be here all night . . .

Denise said...

Bren, I don't know you very well but I think it's safe to say that when you met your husband you weren't

1) calling yourself a cougar and purposely looking for a man much younger than you
2) you weren't looking for boy toy who's goal in life was to be a pool boy (no joke, one of them is a pool boy)
3) your husband showed a maturity level compatible with you.

Honestly, I have no problems with a woman dating and/or marrying a younger man, but this show-- it's like a room full of boys who never grew up and yet she's interested. It just came across as creepy. I truly didn't mean to offend you!!!

Denise said...

Jules, LOL!!!! To get the pic of Napoleon's drawing I google image searched Liger and tons of pictures popped up of REAL Ligers. Who knew? I sure didn't. I had to search for "liger drawing Napoleon."

And please feel free to stay as long as you like in my comment section. This post has already gotten more comments than I expected. LOL

Debbie said...

I didn't want to date 21 year olds when I was 21!! She should have just set up a kissing booth at a local carnival if she wanted to kiss that many random strangers. She could have at least made a buck a peck. Seriously, these shows creep me out.

You are hilarious. Good luck in your search for fresh Liger-meat!

Bren said...

Gosh I hope my comment didn't come off as snooty or offended. I think the term cougar is a bit offensive (no problems with men who marry someone younger than their kids!!). I look at it this way - Demi Moore and I have a lot in common (if you don't count the awesome looks, millions of dollars and all the celebrity! LOL).


Rocksee said...

It's not the whole cougar thing that bothers me. I mean Bren is right, Demi and Ashton seem to be rockin it.. but it's the CHEESE factor of the whole thing.. and the fact that they had to pick probably the MOST irresponsible, dumb, strange, jobless men on the planet and she seems to thing she's hit the mother load.

I mean I don't diss women for dating younger, but seriously.. that show is terrible.

Kim said...

LOL - This post is hilarious!

Who comes up with these shows anyway? Your description of this show has given me the creeps!

Angel said...

Wow, thats all, just, Wow....

monica said...

OK, I'll jump into this discussion. The part that REALLY bugs me is that she has 4 kids and she's willing to publicly humiliate herself and her family in front of the world. Does she have no class at all? I haven't seen the show, or previews, but all I need to see is her picture and the story line to know that she is one sick and desperate puppy. It's not at all about dating/marrying younger men. It's about integrity. Monica

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

Are you serious? This is a real show?!?!?!?! Terrifying!

(I'm at the library blogging and my snorts and laughs while reading your post were not appreciated by the other library patrons! Shhhhhh...)

Jenn said...

Totally forgot about this show! I had seen a commercial for it and wanted to see if it was any good. Definitely sounds corny lol