Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Taxman Cometh to Get Me

We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog post to announce that there won't be a blog post tonight because of foreseen circumstances that could have been prevented with only a little planning.

Have I mentioned that I'm a procrastinator? Yep, I am. You know last night I told you that my dentist declared me royalty? I've decided that my royal title is Queen of Last Minute from the Land of Procrastination. It's a lovely place, you should come visit sometime. Only make sure you're late. It's expected there.

I try to justify my procrastination by saying I work best under pressure. Yeah... anyway...it dawned on me that tomorrow is April 15, tax day and I hadn't even started on my taxes. But get this-- I have not one tax return to file, I have FIVE. You read that correctly. Five. One for me, one for Julia, one for Jenna, one for Trace and one for Ross. (Julia and Jenna both receive Social Security thus necessitating their very own tax returns! What big girls!)

Yes, I do my own taxes. After I got hosed by my accountant in Tennessee with a $2000 bill for my personal taxes I said a big "No thank you!" the next year, paid $60 for Turbo Tax and actually had fun feeling very accountanty putting all those figures in the little boxes. A big plus was that it only cost me $60. Sixty dollars or $2000? Hmmm... hard choice.

I can hear you. You're saying "But the accountant is a trained professional and you are so... not." True but my dog Fifi could practically use Turbo Tax. It's so incredibly easy. It literally tells you what line/box number to fill in certain boxes. Not to mention it has cute little boxes at the top labeled Federal Refund (or Tax if your just that unlucky) and State Refund with cute green numbers that tell you your amount. And you can watch it change while you enter your numbers. Instant gratification. How cool is that? (And let it be known that while Turbo Tax should so totally be paying me for that glowing review, it was a completely voluntary. It was my way of making me look less procrastinatey.)

So, this morning I decided it was time to finally upload that Turbo Tax CD-Rom that I bought back in January. I put it in my laptop and nothing. It didn't load. I dug deep into the computers innards trying to kick it in the pants to start and it didn't recognize that there was even a CD there. Great. Technology and I just don't seem to be getting along this past week. But once again, the kids trusty upstairs computer came through and loaded it like a charm.

Without boring you any further with all the irritating details, let's just say things haven't gone smoothly. I couldn't transfer last years tax information from the laptop to the other computer. No big deal for the kids, but I have a feeling it might turn out to be a big deal for mine. Mine's a lot more complicated especially when you figure in the adoption tax credit carryover. I know, yada, yada, yada. Cry me a river. I already did that on Saturday, not going there again.


So here I sit, entering in information fueled only by vast amounts of Diet Coke and then waiting for the printer to spit out copious amounts of paper. Who knows how many trees have sacrificed themselves to let the government know that no taxes are owed? (Although the boys did get refunds and they e-filed.) Three and half tax returns done. One and half to go. I saved the best for last, mine of course with it's large stack of papers. It's going to be long night.



PS> Please disregard the first paragraph of this post. Apparently even the Federal Government can't shut me up. The state, however, might.

19 comments:

WhisperingWriter said...

Good luck with that.

I'm also a procrastinator.

But we did do our taxes early. Only because we needed the refund moolah. Had there not been a refund involved I probably would be doing the same thing you are.

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

I doth proclaim me Duchess of Last Minute from the Land of Procrastination.

Yuck on the taxes...maybe switch to some coffee and good luck!

Tammy Howard said...

Hee! I like watching the numbers change on TurboTax, too. Me? Simple? Heck to the yeah.

Beth said...

Good Luck! After H&R ripped me off last year...I did Tax Cut online! We spent a big $13.95! I was so happy and I got more back this year! Whoop Whoop!

Sandy Toes said...

You and my husband will be chugging down the diet cola!
sandy toe

Shari U said...

Who has time for filling out tax returns when there's blogging and facebooking and stuff to be done?? Mr. Tax Man needs to get with it.

Jill said...

Denise! I hope you are DONE with the taxes! YUK! Ours were not DONE until yesterday afternoon. I was nervous!

SURELY, "Queen of Last Minute from the Land of Procrastination" should be a BOOK of some esteem...(somewhere)as you can be sure that I would read it!! :0 You slay me!

Denise said...

Good luck...we have an accountant to handle everything who doesn't charge us anywhere near $2K!! Thanks goodness~

Anita said...

My husband is an accountant, not that tax kind, and prior to turbo tax he didn't do our taxes, but now, he is a believer!!! I think this was our 3rd year, fast, e-file, refund in the savings account 2 weeks later........he loves it, and with a happy man, I love it too...LOL.
I hope you are all done, and that you can put this chore behind you....for one more year.

Sheryl said...

Have you got your taxes done yet? I hope you didn't have to stay up too late. Good Luck.

Brandy said...

Good luck girl! We pay somebody to do ours, but we did the boys ourselves after paying too much last year. It's ridiculous what we pay too but NO WHERE NEAR $2 g's. WTH??!?! Did he sell you a kid? Or kidney?

We've already decided - next year it's Turbo tax for us!

Beth said...

Here is a little tax tip for you: Don't buy the CD version and use the ONLINE version instead. I waited till the last minute one year too and could NOT get the CD to work with my computer. I Love the ONLINE version because it automatically transfers everything for you YEAR AFTER YEAR and stores your past tax returns for you. I can now work on them ANYWHERE on ANY computer and if my computer dies, all I have to do is sign in and I have what I need. Be sure to print out copies for yourself and store them but just know that from one procrastinator to another that the online version has saved my life.

Also, I HATE to bring this up, but your silver can looks more like beer than diet coke. Do you really think it is a good idea to drink and do taxes at the same time? Of course the reflection is hiding the truth in the photo and you don't look drunk (yet). But drinking and taxes don't mix if you want an accurate return. So if you see a refund for $1,000,000 you might want to switch to diet. I know taxes can be stressful......... :)

Did you ever find Ryan's birth certificate? Maybe your adoption agency has a copy? Mine does for me in case they are ever lost. We now keep ours in a safe.

Just to make you feel better, I can't find my social security card and I am going to have to get a new one.

becky said...

I normally do my taxes in February. Seriously. This year, I just COULD NOT get my act together. I did them Saturday night.

And I am totally with you on Turbo Tax. Hubby (before we were married) used an accountant and got hit big time, for several years. When we started dating, I insisted that he let me do his taxes with Turbo Tax. He got a refund! Stupid accountant wasn't writing off his tools - and he was a mechanic with huge expenses! So glad we started using it. Truly. (Yeah, also unpaid. They should make us ambassadors, no?)

Christina said...

You are no different than the rest of us!

Curse you tax man.... curse you!

Maybe I should have left that comment as anonymous?!

Margaret M said...

I laughed as I read your post and believe me when I say that I needed to laugh. I had to deal with taxes yesterday too....along with the final deposition for my divorce and the death of a friend. I think you could have found a humorous way to talk about all 3 and my post is just more on the pitiful side. not all of us can be as talented.....Thanks for the laugh my friend!

A Mama's Rant said...

I always procrastinate when I owe. Damn part-time job where they never take out enough.

wingepr said...

Dont feel to bad, we've (me) started them, but my DH still needs to go over them. Last night, he said tonight! Still nothing so far!

Jules said...

But . ..LOST is on tonite! Hurry!

Jules said...

Oh wait . ..you posted this on Tuesday. Whew! you had me worried.