Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Amazing Race

Tonight I watched the premiere of Season 14 of The Amazing Race. I've watched other reality tv shows over the years-- the original Big Brother, Survivor, The Bachelor, The Biggest Loser, but The Amazing Race is the only one I've ever wanted to actually do myself.

Sure I've toyed with the idea of Survivor, if only for the weight loss program. If you can manage to stay on that show a few weeks, you're guaranteed at least a 20 pound weight loss. But I confess that I'm not into eating bugs, and I'm not really much of schemer so I think I can cross that one off the list. I don't think I'd make it on the show anyway. They probably want to know why you want to be on Survivor and I'm pretty sure losing weight isn't what they are looking for in possible contestants. And unfortunately, I'm not quite obese enough for The Biggest Loser.

The Bachelor is out too. I am single now, but there's something about dating a guy who's dating 20 other women at the same time that just turns me off. No thank you. I have this thing called pride and either you want me or you don't. I don't share. And I'm sure not kissing some guy who's kissed half of LA in the last 24 hours. Ever heard of herpes?

But The Amazing Race, now that's a contest I can sink my teeth into. For one thing, international travel isn't a new concept for me. I've been to Asia 3 times and Europe once. And let's not forget that I was alone in Vietnam with a 4 year old and 3 month old for 3 weeks, so being in another country finding my way around doesn't intimate me. Doesn't schlepping around the Hanoi silk market in the rain with a crappy stroller qualify me for something? But as ready as I think I am, what it really boils down to is your partner.

On The Amazing Race, your partner can make or break your chances of winning, or more importantly, not finishing last.

{Is this not the show for not quite over achievers? The only time you have to be in first it the very last show!}

You're stuck with this person, hopefully for the entire 22 days of the race and you're faced with many irritation producing events. Not only can this person make you look like an idiot by default, this person can also bring out the worst in you. If raging hormones are an issue, the partner's life might hang in the balance. Unfortunately, you can't finish the race without your partner, so dead or alive, they're going with you. It might prove a bit challenging to drag around someone Weekend At Bernie's style but it would be an easy choice as to who was doing the bungie jump off Europe's tallest dam. I've been dragging children's limp bodies around for years-- I've totally got an advantage there. However, I think the key is to pick someone you're less likely to kill.

I've given a lot of thought into who my partner would be since the beginning of the show. Several years ago, I told Darrell that he was out. He was short on patience and quick on getting irritated. "I love you but... no way. I'm not having the entire country watch you get mad at me." Brutal honesty. All my younger children are out. Oh my word, the whining would drive even the sanest person over the edge. Ross would be a nightmare on The Race. Picture impatient, picky eater, whiner who doesn't like to travel. Out.

In the end, I think I'd chose my oldest son Trace. While I'm basically a nice, open person, Trace is nice but can be quite scheming. He's also pretty patient, as am I, and more importantly, he's willing to be the bungee jumper. I think I could carry a 50 pound cheese wheel down a steep hill without a problem, shoot I carry 50 pounds around every day-- 25 pounds on each hip with the names of Ryan and Emma. But bungee jumping? That's what my partner is for.

It's nice to have a back up though. There's always the chance that Trace might bail on me, so I've decided to take applications for potential partners just in case.

Wanted: Patient, physically strong person-- slow to anger but quick witted. Must be willing to go days with little sleep, willing to eat exotic cuisine, and not afraid of heights. Knowledge of multiple foreign languages a plus.

Only qualified applicants need apply.

I am required to state that my brother Rick called to remind me that The Amazing Race was on tonight. I believe his exact words were "You're going to mention me in your blog, aren't you?" My duty has now been fulfilled. Lucky for him, my post was about the show. It might have been pretty weird to give him a shout out if my post was about poopy diapers. Or
would it???


Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

Are you kidding me?!?!?!? I missed it! (As soon as I'm done with this response I'm going to see if I can find the episode online.) It drives me insane that every year the show has a new name so my DVR won't automatically pick it up...but I digress.

I, too, love this show and have thought of doing it. I'm not that strong but I'm adventurous and willing to jump of/out of keep me in mind!

I have actually thought that if the show can stay on air for the next 18 years then my daughter (who doesn't exist yet) can be my partner and my two sons can be partners. I was hoping the added family drama of two separate teams of the same family competing against each other would be a big enough hook to get us on the show.

In the meantime, you can count on me if you need a team-mate (unless it comes to eating meat...that's the only thing I can't do).

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

Ohhhh...I was just trying to think of what out team would be referred to know at the bottom of the screen when they show the teams there is always a descriptive term like long-distance couple, life-long friends, mother and son, separated newlyweds. Maybe we'd be mama bloggers who met in cyberspace...

Not very catchy but I'm going to think on it a bit more right after I watch this episode...

Denise said...

I love it! Mama Bloggers! I've never seen a team of bloggers before!

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

I'm back...I just had to comment that the first group of teams to do the cheese event was hysterical. I hope that had I been in that situation I could have laughed at myself and the whole ridiculous thing!
Mama Bloggers works for me! (I should also mention that I'm directionally challenged but can read maps well.)

annie kelleher said...

thats way too funny! im sort of addicted to the bachelor in the way im addicted to salt and pepper potato chips... too many and i feel sick but oh they taste so good going down! i too find it appalling and yet... i just can't look away!!! a team of mommy bloggers??!! sign me up... forget winning a race... we could take over the world!!!!

Sandy Toes said...

I did the Amazing Race...well, in my MOMS was big...all throughout was crazy but fun!
-sandy toe

Angel said...

Amazing Race is my favorite realiy show, I loved your post on it. I never thought I could do it myself, but I always thought my son and daughter would be good contestants. They are both into the fitness mode.
When I mention this to my daughter Denise she said, "Mom, I'd kill Eric."
So thats as they say is that! :)

Angel said...

Amazing Race is my favorite realiy show, I loved your post on it. I never thought I could do it myself, but I always thought my son and daughter would be good contestants. They are both into the fitness mode.
When I mention this to my daughter Denise she looked at me incredulously and she said, "Mom, I'd kill Eric."
So thats as they say is that! :)

Jill said...

I like my sleep...HATE to exercise, enjoy exotic food (on a plate and served beautifully,) detest looking at maps, feel nervous looking over the railing on the second floor of the mall and I cannot think of ANYONE that I would want to spend 22 days with...STRAIGHT!!

I am OUT!!

Hi Rick.

Jewelz said...

Mom, I am sorry but NO WAY am I doing that!!!! You know how i am scared of tons of things. Hey!! I was scared of getting my ears pierced. No way am i bungee jumping. I won't even rock climb up to 3 inches I went to a birthday party and there was a rock climbing wall I got on 5 seconds later I got off!!!!

Lorie said...

I too love the amazing race, but as far as being a contestant, not for me..heck we had my sisters wedding shower yesterday and I can barely move, just from preparing, setting up, hosting, and cleaning..I don't think I sat down for 5 minutes and I am dieing... note to self, continue the pilates machine.

But I do have a thought on the Bachelor, why not just be the Bachelorette??? They are taking applications for either right now, then you are the only person kissing them............hmmmm, worth a thought

Jewelz said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Denise said...

Lorie, The Bachelorette, hmm... hadn't thought of that one. Perhaps because I can't remember the last time they had a woman who was over 40 and didn't weigh less than 100 pounds on either show!

Heather said...

Hands down, The Amazing Race is my favorite television show of all time. I want to be on that darn show so badly. My only fear is that I would have to do an entire episode in a bathing suit (not the prettiest picture.) I was known in college as the "navigatress" because I never got lost in a strange city and could get anywhere with a map and a prayer. I'm pretty strong and have absolutely no fear of death-defying stunts.

But doesn't it seem like this year the show went for the super-model look. My gosh, most of the teams are just drop dead gorgeous (men & women.) If that's the case, I'm unfortunately not going to be picked any time soon!

By the way, I LOVE the mom and deaf son team and the Harvard Law brother-sister team. And of course, I'm appalled that they picked another pathetic Southern family. You know, not everyone that lives in the south is that um, interesting.

Take care & have a great week!

Brandy said...

What? You don't want to go on the Rock of Love show? I cannot believe that. ~sigh~

I think the mommy bloggers idea RAWKS but sorry I couldn't do this in a million years. I would be a raging, hormonal beotch. And the world would hate me because I let my partner do all the hard stuff.

Denise said...

Brandy, I confess that I have never seen Rock of Love, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to be on it anyhow.

And that's okay that you don't want to be my partner. I loved the dickens out of Darrell but there was no way on God's green earth I was doing The Amazing Race with him.

I'm starting to think there might be something to this Bachelorette thing...

The Royal Family said...

I know you only said serious applications need apply. That made me think: I am not into exotic food, i'm weak and whiney and get homesick easily, I forget things if I don't get my sleep... (ask my hubby) and I simply am afraid of leaving to a country I dont know the language. Does that mean I am out? Couldn't we do it together for the entertainment value?

I love your blog. I missed the show... but I gotta watch it next week. :)

Kristin said...

Okay, this I've got to see! Go for it!! You are a much braver--or insane--person than I.

I am not into exotic foods, don't do heights, am not pleasant without sleep, and would likely get on anyone's nerves after 22 days.

I'm out!

Oh, and personally, I would have loved to see how you tied your brother into a poopy diaper post.

momma said...

i'd love to go on the amazing race, too, but i would not be able to eat anything weird!

misspro312 said...

My aunt and I want to do it, and we almost applied. But we found out when they were shooting was when her son was getting married!!

I love it though!! Those teams falling down the hill with the cheese! Too funny!

Nancy said...

Sorry. I am in the same boat as you. But I would love to be on the show. Could never do it with my husband. I DO love that show!!!

Nancy said...

I'd do it with you Denise! ;) I love that show! Let's see, I've traveled all over the world (in effort to meet my goal of visiting every continent before I'm 50), you & I used to live in the same hometown (but never got to meet!), we both used the same adoption agency and I'll eat anything once--did I ever share the pictures of the snails (not quite escargot) I ate in Hanoi with Thuy? LOL! Who will watch our babies?

Nancy :)

Queen of Feisty said...

Loved that episode! The line about "don't let the cheese hit me" I about wet my pants!

I have applied for Big Brother a few times, I have the next season app. sitting right here, all filled out. Just waiting for me to make a tape and send it in...