Thursday, January 15, 2009

I'm Too Sexy For My Highchair

Okay, first of all, I'm going to be in SOOOO much trouble when my kids read the title of this post. "Sexy" is not a word we use in this house if you are under the age of, oh I don't know, 15. Seriously, who wants to hear a 5 year old call something sexy? Yeah, not happenin' here. Not on my watch.

So then why did I feel compelled to use it? Because that stupid song is stuck in my head and when I try to think of any other title it just doesn't work. Too bad for you I can't find the charger for my little camera or I might have tried to get video and do a music video/montage to I'm Too Sexy. Lucky, lucky you.

Who said the classics were dead?

We'll start our little tale with a typical morning, breakfast or snack, you take your pick.

Emma's eating her dry cereal from a cup sitting nicely in her high chair.

Ryan is eating his Goldfish at the island. He's had a wee bit too much paparazzi here. Give him a minute or two. He'll warm up. Oh and this is snack. I feed my kids all kinds of things for breakfast but never Goldfish. Yet. Never say never.

Emma has decided she is done with her snack so anything she's done with goes overboard onto the floor. The dogs love it. Ryan can't stand it. He has to pick it up. Goodness, I love that boy! Out of 6 kids I finally got a neat freak!!!

But once Emma's done she not only throws her food on the floor but she announces she's ready to move onto the next activity.

And she stands up in her chair and waits for her royal servants to remove her from the now offending throne. Unless she's closer to the counter. Then she tries to crawl onto it.

I'm usually close by but this was becoming dangerous. I tried to strap her in but her sensibilities couldn't handle the imprisonment. Not to mention dinner. At dinner she would sit for about 5 minutes and scream to get out and with her new mad skills, climb out. Then she would walk over to an open chair (if there was one) and climb up into it and smile the biggest smile you ever saw. No words were spoken but they weren't necessary. You knew exactly what she was thinking.

"I'm the shizzle for snizzle."

And she is.

Knowing her desperation to join the cool kids at the table, yesterday I decided to let her eat lunch on a bar stool with Ryan.

Emma is expressing her inner fashionista. We had recently come home and didn't want her hat removed. Ryan is showing some great chugging skills that should come in handy in college. But the main thing was she did well on the stool, didn't fall off, didn't even almost fall off. All in all it was a success.

So for dinner last night we decided to try the table.

And there she is, my baby girl who refused to let any type of solid food cross her plump little lips until she was 9 months, thought crawling was beneath her until at least 10 months and then drove her Uncle Kevin crazy because she did an army crawl, and didn't even consider walking until she was 15 months. This same slightly backwards girl has abandoned her high chair and is sitting at the table like a big girl, at 18 months.

This, in itself, presents a few challenges. First, I wasn't prepared for her to be sitting at the table. We tried to use Ryan's booster but he had a mini cow right there at the kitchen table so that was out of the question. (The good news is we have enough beef to last us a couple of weeks.)
So the impromptu, old fashioned remedy was phone books. Two to be precise. But that doesn't solve our other dilemma: We don't have enough chairs. There are now 7 of us sitting at the kitchen table and most tables, including ours, come with 6 chairs. Maybe the kids will come to the table quicker now. Last one to dinner has to stand. Who are we kidding? We all know it will be me. Maybe I'll actually lose some weight! Or maybe monkeys will start flying out of my...

Never mind.

28 comments:

Kat said...

Oh No it looks like the baby doesn't want to be a baby anymore ...... Big Girl Here She comes!

Sandy Toes said...

The good ole "yellow Pages"...why do we even have highchairs????
-sandy toe

Anna Molly said...

OMG your post had me laughing so loud I was afrad the girls in the cubicles next to mine were going to think I was crazy! I can so relate to everything you are talking about. I only have half the kids you have, but I have been there with each one of them. I'm glad your baby hasn't gotten hurt climbing out of her high chair! :)

Aspiemom said...

I love your sense of humor!

Especially the end of this about the last one to get to the table stands!

Upstatemomof3 said...

I am cracking up laughing over this. What a big girl she is. Happy about it too.

Katy Lin :) said...

oh my word! that entire post was absolutely hillarious!! :) love the pic of her smiling at you while she's sitting on the phone books :) super cute

Kristin said...

We had to do the same thing with my 2 year old. She wanted to sit with the big girls, in a big girl chair, so one day we just let her! It's so much easier to clean up after her now too....I hated cleaning that high chair!

Megan said...

LOL That is so funny and adorable! =D

Kristin said...

Time for some new chairs, huh? But trust me when I say, don't order chairs online. It is not a good idea. Really.

:-)

Denise said...

I love that I can always come here for a good chuckle!!

Lindsey's mom said...

That is to funny!!! Love the last to dinner has to stand!! That is great!!!

momma said...

you are so funny! we had a climber here. he would climb over the edge of his crib at 8-9 months and FALL to the floor. After 2 nights of that - he got promoted to a toddler bed, and he stayed in it. I was afraid he would roll out and crawl around, but he didn't!

Erika said...

Funniest post I've read all day!! I was just looking at a photo of mine earlier that put that same song in my head, but it went, "I'm too sexy for my binky!" instead.

Anonymous said...

lol too funny.
The girls have been doing that too...Miss K since she was 13 months and Miss E since she was 20 months...they are wild these Phu Tho kids..and we have 8 and only 6 chairs..I feel your pain.

Kathleen
G and R July 31,2007 Adoppt

Kristin said...

Big girl! That is a great highchair and since mine will be in theirs until at least 2nd grade I think that you should send it to me. In return I will send you our unused dining room chair. Deal!

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

I nearly spit out my drink reading that last paragraph...too funny!
And then I had an odd thought...you still get phone books where you live? We don't and we just assumed because of the internet they had gone the way of the dinosaurs (or in your case, the way of the highchairs).
Good luck finding a 7th chair!

The Johnson 5 said...

she is so darn cute and she knows it!!

Kelsey said...

She looks so proud of herself!

I miss the booster seat, or better yet the highchair. A likes to get up every second while she's eating and it drives me nuts. I'm all for sitting on your butt until your food is gone!

JD said...

Hilarious.... Gosh I love your blog!! You had me cracking up! She's too cute for words.

Hey, how many seats in your Crazy Bus? If there's extras, you could rip out that bench way at the back (you know, where all the fun happens), leave that as extra luggage space, and haul the bench to the table! Voila!

Ann said...

Monkeys....

So many cute photos it would be hard to say which one I like best. The proud expression of your daughters face (sitting at the table) is very adorable. The hand out, no more photo shot (of your son) was also funny.

Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia said...

Oh my! Could that Emma BE any cuter? Her smile just grabs you! What a fun family.

I have a good friend with 22 kids- well, 24 if you count the two she lost. I think only 2-3 are birth children and the rest have joined the family from the 4 corners of the earth.

Enjoy your beautiful family!

BoufMom9 said...

OH MY Goodness! How funny is she!

Lorie said...

You are so funny, Amelia is exactly the same way almost as both of the kids...when she is done w/ her food, she will toss some of it, but the dog is already there waiting for her droppings, but she yells 'done mommy' and stands up in her highchair, this freaks out my mother, she is so afraid she is going to fall out, but she hasn't even come close, but like Ryan heaven forbid she drop something she had no intention on dropping, this does not come in so handy while in restaurants and you just want to leave it on the floor and not touch it...we have to very slyly kick it somewhere under the table she can't see it, or pick it up, but then she wants it back...we have a booster for her already, but while in the highchair most of the mess is more contained so I am trying to keep her there for a little while longer.

April said...

omg, she's precious. and so proud!

Kristy said...

Congratulations Emma what a big girl!!!! Denise I could just squeeze those cheeks of hers!!! She is adorable, all of them are!!!

Love, Kristy

Sarah said...

So cute! My (19 month) daughter does the high chair thing, too. And adds "GET OUT" to it!

Brandy said...

Her sitting on the phonebooks is PRICELESS!

I think you should rotate chairs, that way everyone gets to stand one day a week!

Cathy said...

Just looking over your site and saw the phone book booster seat. When my son was little my mom took old wall paper and wrapped phone books like a Christmas present to make the booster seat. They were pretty and stayed together in the height she needed. She is crafty like that, I on the other hand would have never thought about it.