Tagged and Thankful

I was tagged by Tiffany at The Shaw Family with a tag called 4th Folder, 4th Photo. I'd seen this on a couple of other blogs lately and thought it was a unique idea. Part of the game is I now have to tag 3 other people. I tag Teresa at Continuing the Journey, Issy at Swimming on Dry Land , and Lorie at The Princess and The Lady Bug.

I had no idea what my fourth folder was let alone my fourth photo in that folder. I looked it up and found this.


When I saw this photo I was surprised that this was "The One" and was somewhat overwhelmed with the emotion. This a photo of Emma and I in the van after our G&R last October. Jenna took this picture as we waited outside the orphanage while our facilitator went back in to get something. No special pictures of us in front the province office wall. Just a quick photo in the car. I was sitting there in disbelief that I actually had her in my arms and she was legally mine and praying a constant prayer that I would be able to bring her home. I was a woman living in fear but also living in hope.

I find it appropriate to post this on Thanksgiving Day. It was a miracle that I got this baby girl and a miracle that I was allowed to bring her home on November 9. But our Thanksgiving last year found my children and I separated again after our just recently ended 7 week separation. Emma and I were at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital and my other kids went to Kentucky to be with my brother Dave and his family. It was the day I watched the baby I had fought for for so long and hard, crash in front of my eyes and then be rushed to ICU where she was placed on a ventilator for the next 6 days. That was only one year ago. It seems like a lifetime.

I have found that our lives can profoundly change in a mere instant. Three years ago I was married and had four children. Now I am a widow. One year ago I was living in Tennessee and only had 5 children. Now I live in Kansas City and have 6 children.

I have lived through much hardship but the rewards are worth every bit of the pain. Does that mean that I want the hardship? No, but I have no say in the trails that God has handed me. I can only accept them and deal with them the best that I can. While part of me died when Darrell died the rest of me lived. Life is an incredible gift that shouldn't be squandered.

This Thanksgiving finds me very blessed. I have 6 beautiful. loving children who are the light of my life. I am a very thankful woman.