I apologize for my lack of posting lately but in all honesty, right now is the first time I've had free time in about 2 weeks.
My life is crazy right now and not necessarily the good kind. There's the obvious "lots of kids" added to "kids home for summer" but there's more too. There's financial. My income has dropped significantly over the last six months and sometimes it's just hard to process let alone react to. But I think the piece that has pushed me over the edge, so to speak, is having to deal with a bunch of Darrell related situations. One required me to write a letter to Darrell stating how his death has affected me. That letter must have released some latent grief because I had many tear filled days during and after the writing of the letter. I'm starting to feel better but let's just say I haven't my Glass Half Full self.
There were times that considered writing a post letting you all know about how I have been feeling but other then the lack of time, when I did have time after 11:00 p.m., when the kids were all finally in bed, writing about how I felt was the last thing I wanted to do. I'm sorry if I've let some of you down. I do have some things to tell you such as Emma's 2nd birthday (how can my baby be 2?) and Jenna losing a top front tooth. Or even finding Ryan and Gauge trying to wash themselves in the powder room after getting in a wet sandbox. That one happened this morning and it was hours later that I realized "the old me" would have instantly reached for the camera. I just need to find the joy part of me again. I know it's in there somewhere.
1 month ago