Denise's Big Weekend

Trace might get a week, but I was pretty satisfied with just a weekend. Hey, beggars can't be choosers especially when I hardly even get a day.

My weekend stared Friday night when Guy #1 asked me out on a date, yep a real LIVE date. Those of you who have befriended me on Facebook know this already when I posted a frantic message:

I just got asked out on a REAL date!!!! OMG!!!! What do I do????

I got 18 responses, all telling me to go. So of course I said yes. But the date wasn't until Sunday afternoon, so I still had Saturday to fill.

Saturday I had an appointment to get my hair cut and colored at the salon that did my hair when I got my makeover last August, oh and did I mention I hadn't had my hair cut or colored since that visit? I actually made the appointment before my big date, but it didn't hurt that I got beautified before. In reality, I made the appointment because of a photo shoot that we had on Monday. But more on that tomorrow.

When I got to the salon and sat in the chair my neighbor was sitting in the chair across from me! That was a huge surprise and added to the fun of my visit. Lori saw how cute I looked in my black vinyl cape and asked me out to lunch. Wow, this dating thing really has seemed to snowball.

Okay, I have to wonder why I don't go to the salon more often? I had so much fun, who knew? My colorist (because I'm just special enough to have a stylist and a colorist) was a hoot! He told me many stories but the most exciting one was that he was sued by a client and went on Judge Joe Brown. While I admit that it's not the most reassuring fact to know that the man putting chemicals on your hair was sued for ruining a woman's hair, I believed him when he told me that she had had it ruined by someone else and she asked him to fix it. He said it so convincingly. And he was almost done painting my hair.

After my chemicals were washed out, it was time for my cut. Both Allen and Safe, my stylist, knew I was going on a date and Safe especially had words of wisdom and advice. I started thinking "Who didn't know about my date?" Poor Guy #1, he had no idea that hundreds of people knew about his existence!

After I was done at the salon, I met Lori for lunch and had an awesome time. And I had been gone from home for 4 hours. When I got home, you would have thought it was 4 days. The nerve of Mommy to have fun without her pack of children!

My date was on Sunday afternoon. We were meeting to see Slum Dog Millionaire.(Although my brother Kevin tells me it wasn't a real date, it was merely a get together. He says a real date involves dinner.) We met early so we could talk before the movie started. He was a really nice guy and I had a great time. When the movie was over, we stayed for the credits and talked. He then walked me to my car and we said goodbye.

And this has been the source of much discussion over the last 24+ hours.

He didn't ask me out for a second date. Some people think he didn't want to put me on the spot or maybe he was worried I say no, so he would ask me via eHarmony like he did last time. I told my friend Sandra that I was sure it wasn't because I told him I had a wedding dress in my closet and it was really better suited for a summer wedding. ;>)

At this point, I haven't heard anything from him and this is what I've decided: I was me. I was the real me, albeit the socially acceptable me, and if he doesn't want to see me again, then that's okay. I think I'm in a good place. Twenty years ago I don't think I'd be this way, I've grown up enough to know that I'm not going to change to make a man happy. He needs to like me just the way I am, craziness and all.

But it still doesn't stop me from checking my email.



Hey, do you want to be my friend? If you want to be my Facebook friend, let me know and I'll tell you how to find me.
Edited Monday morning: Some of you have expressed interest in befriending me but you don't have email addresses to send you the info. So, I'll just save us all a bunch of trouble and give you my name here: Denise Grover Swank.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker Make Me Match

They say that curiosity kills the cat but apparently it causes other trouble too.

It started innocently enough. One day Julia and I were watching a Bravo marathon of Project Runway and there were a zillion commercials for singles online dating services and it caught my attention. I've been single for three years. Now I admit, saying that I'm single seems really weird to me but saying I'm a widow seems even worse. Little old women in a rocking chairs knitting comes to mind with the term widow and the only rocking I seem to get in is when we're having rockin' dance parties.

Sometimes I think I'm ready to think about dating, other days I'm not so sure. But I'll be honest. My chances of meeting someone are slim to none. I've heard of some women picking up guys in the produce aisle at the grocery store, but nothing is more attractive to a guy than a screaming toddler trying to escape from the cart and snot smeared across my black long sleeved T-shirt. While some people might think that's endearing, those people would be women.

Plus, who's available after 40? My guess is that the pickin's are slim. In your 20's you can guess that a lot of guys are available. After 40 it's safer to assume they're taken. So what's a girl to do? Out of pure curiosity, last week I signed onto eHarmony, just to see what kind of guys were out there. My luck, it would be a bunch of trailer trash guys looking for a woman to cook their catch from their latest fishing trip. No thank you. After filling out like a zillion questions I was given a list of 5 guys. Most were in their 40's and most seemed to be professionals with kids. No pictures were available unless I became a member. I thought "Well, I guess when I'm ready, there actually might be some decent guys out there." At this point it was all entirely free and I was given the opportunity to "join," which I choose not to do. So that was that.

Or so I thought.

The next day in my email inbox I received 5 new matches. I was now matched with 10 guys. I also got an email telling me that "Richard" requested communication with me. Say what? You mean they could see me? Uh oh! I ignored it.

The third day I received 5 new matches and 7 additional guys requesting communication. I now officially had more men then kids, a real phenomenon. I could hardly handle one guy, what I am supposed to do with eight? I was beginning to feel like I was on my own Bachelorette show. I've got 8 guys interested and I get to pick. Do you think Chris Harrison will show up and pay for any dates?

Eight guys. That's more than days of the week. How does that work? One every night and a matinee on Sunday? Makes me tired just thinking about it.

At this point I signed onto eHarmony to check out the cost. I haven't even seen what these guys look like and although I can communicate with them, I'd really like to see them first. Seems pretty superficial, I know, but nevertheless....

But I'm really torn. I'm not sure what to do. Am I ready for a seventh child? No, but I might be ready for a male friend. I know I'm not ready for marriage. I'm finally used to being on my own and being in charge. I'm not quite ready to hand over those reins to someone. I also admit that its all pretty scary. Dating, at my age. Really??? And more importantly, what man is going to want to date me when he finds out that I have SIX kids??? When would I find time for these dates? How do I choose?

So, I'm turning to you all for wisdom and advice. What do you think I should do? I would love to meet someone the old fashioned way, but does that way even happen anymore? Maybe I should just get a hobby instead, like macrame. Anybody need a hanging plant holder?