And a Happy New Year to You Too

When we last heard from our neglectful blogger, she was >>this close<< to finishing her first novel. What gives?

Yes, I did complete my first novel, So Much To Lose, coming in at a whopping 95,000 words and 375 double spaced pages. What does that look like? Why, I'm glad you asked.

Yes, a tree sacrificed its life to print my novel.

The last week I was writing 10-12 hours per day trying to get it done and when I typed the words THE END, I cried. I couldn't believe I had done it. I couldn't believe it was actually done. I couldn't believe that I didn't have writing to absorb every spare moment of my time. I knew I had to wait 2-6 weeks until I could begin to edit and revise.

I promptly fell into Post Novel Depression. I wandered aimlessly trying to figure out what to do with my time. All my writing friends told me to start a new book. I thought they had lost their minds. But I brainstormed and before I knew it, I had a new plot. The week before Christmas, I started my second novel, which amazingly enough already had a title, a theme, subthemes and a bare bones plot. While So Much To Lose (my novel) took 6 weeks to write 26 chapters, the first chapter of Chosen took one week in itself.

The week after Christmas, I pulled So Much to Lose down from it's shelf, excited to begin editing. I started to read it and wanted to cry. It sucked. I knew that was okay. First drafts often suck. The problem was the first chapter of Chosen didn't suck, in fact, several people told me it was good. I was torn between putting a lot of work into a bad first draft or continuing on with a pretty good first draft. Which would you choose? Yeah, me too.

I've put So Much To Lose to the side and I'm working on Chosen writing a chapter a week. A much slower pace but I'm getting quality words. I've started an author blog in a few days I'm going to post part of chapter 1 of Chosen so you can decide for yourself.

Christmas. What about Christmas?

Christmas was quiet for us, just the nine of us. It started snowing on Christmas Eve so Cody and Gauge had their first white Christmas, much to Cody's excitement. I don't have any pictures because I can't find the charger to my camera battery. Ugh. I refuse to buy a new one because as sure as I do, the old one will turn up. The kids were supposed to return to school on Tuesday but got a snow day and then one today. It's snowing again.

As I was uploading this picture, I got the call from school saying there is no school tomorrow or Friday. Three weeks of Christmas break and Mom is going nuts. I love my children but it's easier to love them when they go to school, especially when they're cooped up in the house 24/7.

Pray for me.

Are you giving up your blog?

No, I'm really sad that I've neglected my blog so much. Ryan said something cute a couple of weeks ago and someone asked me if I journaled the cute things my kids did. I told her that I put them on my blog and then realized I hadn't been doing that for some time. I hope to make the time to put those funny stories on here. One of the main reasons I started my blog was to have a chronicle of my kids and the funny things they do.

Any resolutions for 2010?

Nope. Other than to be a better blogger, finish my second novel, try to get an agent, drop 2 dress sizes and run a 5K this spring, I don't have any resolutions this year.

While Mom's Tucked Away...

Yesterday was a snow day. Yay. (Note the sarcasm.) I knew I was days away from finishing my novel and I planned a week long sprint to the finish. A snow day threw a serious wrench in the process. But I was a good mommy-- I bundled children up to go out into arctic temperatures to play in the inch of snow we were covered with. I made pancakes and hot chocolate for breakfast and turkey paninis for lunch. And promptly at 1:00 I checked out of the mommy shift and went to work at my author job while Julia and Jenna were cleaning their room and the two little ones took naps.

But somewhere in the day, my powder room was invaded by squirrels.


Or small children. I discovered this "nest" when I used the powder room this morning. These kids are making me work for it but the joke's on them. If all goes well (meaning hours of writing) I will finish my book TODAY. Oh, yeah.

Chasing Rainbows

Almost 4 years ago I learned that life is short.  You can plan to do things "some day" but some day may never come.

When I was a little girl I loved to read.  I also loved to write.  In the 4th grade I had a dream that I loved so much I decided to write it down.  I got a spiral notebook and hand wrote 40 pages, front and back, before I stopped.  I don't really remember what the dream was about but I still remember the burning desire to take the dreams in my head and put them on paper. I still have that burning desire.

My blog has reincarnated a part of me that was long lost, the writer.  I love putting our crazy stories into words (and photos.)  I love being able to use my imagination to come up with some of the off the wall ideas that make it on my blog.  But there's a part of me that wants more.

I was writing the story of Darrell's accident and death.  I know there's a story to tell but it's a painful one.  The farther I get from it sometimes the harder it is to revisit it.  So, for now, that project is on hold.

This past summer the seed of an idea was planted in my head.  The idea of a story.  The story grew, and changed and by September I had a plot of a novel.  I researched.  I organized my plot in a flow chart on a dry erase board.  I wrote part of my first chapter, the seed that grew into the plot on my board.  And then I stopped.

Writing a book is a daunting task.  There's a lot of words.  There's a lot of planning.  Characters, plots, subplots, motivation.  But there's also fear.  What if I can't do it?  What if it's bad?  The entire month of October, two people lived in my head begging to come to life but yet I couldn't do it.  What if I failed?

November is National Novel Writing Month.  Over a decade ago some people got together and challenged themselves to write a novel* in a month, 30 days-- the month of November.  They named it NaNoWriMo. (* A full length novel is actually 80,000-100,000 words which is my ultimate goal.)  I decided NaNoWriMo was exactly what I needed.  I also needed to realize that a first draft can suck, in fact usually does suck. Once I realized that it gave me the freedom to write without fear.

Now on November 8th, I have written 14,071 words, 17, 569 words total when I include what I wrote before.  My story is flying onto the keyboard and the amazing part is that I love it.  It's a first draft, so it's far from perfect, but I love it nevertheless.  But even better is support that I have gotten.

I expected people to call me crazy.  I expected looks of "oh isn't that cute, she thinks she can write a book."  I never expected the full on support that I have received. I never expected people to be excited about my book.  I have been blessed beyond belief to have people ask how it's coming, cheering me on.  This morning at church, my 10 year old nephew Zach asked me what my current word count was. My friend Kathleen, a doctor, answers my every medical research question, even the most mundane,  and is happy to do it.  My friend Kristi, a medical transcriptionist, answers every question I have about the job of a transcriptionist.  I've had 3 people offer to edit my book when it's done.

I ask myself, if all these people believe in me without hesitation, how can I not?

And so I write and my heart fills with joy with every word that goes onto my screen and I think maybe, just maybe, I've finally found myself.