Skirmishes

Many of you suspected that Emma had not completely caved in the bottle war and had some plotting left in her. You smart people would be correct.

On Saturday afternoon, after spending an hour and a half in her baby bed and NOT going to sleep, she got up and decided to entertain herself with a little water play.

At the kitchen sink. While sitting on the kitchen counter, 'cause we all know that she gets the best view of the television up there anyway. I think she was trying to be helpful and wash those dishes in the sink.

Yeah, right.

No nap on Sunday. And then today, I had my press conference (did I mention before that I had a press conference with Food Network??) so I put the babies to bed about 10 minutes before so they wouldn't be interrupting the conference call. I could hear them talking up there while I chatted it up with Keegan Gerhard (not really, I got to ask him 3 questions) and then there was silence.

I suddenly want to burst out into song: ...and echoed... in the sounds... of silence.

That should have been my first clue, well, actually the second. The first was the giggling that went on between Emma and Ryan before the sounds of silence. The second was the silence itself, but we all know what a cockeyed optimist I am. I could burst out into a South Pacific song now, but I'll refrain.

After about 45 minutes I heard Emma talking happy talk, so I went upstairs to get her although if she did sleep it was a really short nap.

{Yes, that's a fig leaf.}

Emma was completely naked. She went to bed wearing a shirt, pants, a diaper and socks. When I found her, she was a bare as the day she was born. New nap time entertainment. Yay. I had no idea she even knew how to get her clothes off.

This girl holds a grudge.

This Means War

"We make war that we might live in peace." Aristotle

"War is Hell" General William Tecumseh Sherman

"The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it." George Orwell

As you all know, I was Cruela Denise and took Emma's bottle away on Monday night. I knew it was time but she was very attached to it, more so than my other kids ever where. In the end, it was my own selfish desire to finally sleep more than 4 hours at a stretch (if I was lucky) that finally made me become mean.

So Monday night we had our first skirmish when I told Emma her bottle was all gone. Then Tuesday afternoon Emma declared war by peeing on my lap. But you know that already.

Mommy 1: Emma 1

What you don't know (unless you have been reading my Facebook updates) is that war was on full force. Emma began trying to wear me down and she had many tactics.

Guerrilla warfare: She dumped a box of Reese's cereal on the floor.

Which the puppy ate some of and then proceed to vomit and poop diarrhea all over my carpet. Double bonus points for Emma.

Mommy 1: Emma 3

Next came bedtime and nap time. If you remember from the video last week, Emma slept in the twin bed and Ryan slept in the toddler bed. In the past, Emma would get out of the toddler bed whenever I put her to bed in it, but the twin bed seemed high enough that she never tried to get out. Until this week. The first night of her crying/fit she slid herself out of bed and it was a whole new ball game for the child. We were up until midnight every night, with her ultimately sleeping in my bed.

Mommy 2: Emma 6

The good news there is that the last two nights she actually slept through the night. The bad news was she refused to take a nap.

Until about 5:00 on Wednesday and Thursday on the living room floor, which then perpetuated the staying up late. Talk about a vicious cycle. And a cranky mommy. Mommy needs her nap time, not personally-- although that might be nice, but her babies nap time so that she can spend uninterrupted time on Facebook get important things done. On Wednesday at nap time, I must have put that child back to bed about 30 times. I finally gave up. Pick and choose your battles, wise words spoken by a war battered general, or a really tired mommy. Same thing.

The final straw was last night. I rocked Emma to sleep and put her in her bed around 9:30. I came downstairs and was in the middle of writing a blog post gloating stating that Emma was asleep before midnight for the first time all week and I was going to take a bath and read a book when Ninja baby showed up.

This must have been her 5th trip down the stairs. I was tired and I considered giving in but I held firm. And although Emma has a bottle hanging out her mouth here...

It's an empty bottle, not even a liner. I just tell her the bottle's all gone.

Mommy 3: Emma 6

So let's recap, shall we? So far Emma's not gotten a bottle full of formula since Tuesday afternoon. In the meantime, Emma's peed on Mommy, spilled cereal, caused the dog to poop and vomit all over carpet, Emma refuses to take a nap and made sure that Mommy has absolutely NO alone time from 6:45 am until midnight, now sleeps in Mommy's bed and clings to Mommy practically all day long.

How is this a good thing again? Oh yeah, I get 6 hours of consecutive sleep. Although I don't really because I'm so used to her waking up in the night I keep waking up wondering if she's okay. Ugh.

But this morning I got an epiphany. Emma wasn't sleeping because she could escape from her bed. If she couldn't escape then she might go to sleep. Since tying her down didn't seem like a good option, (seriously, who has time for a DFS investigation?) I moved onto Option #2.

I converted the toddler bed back into a baby bed. The real trick was convincing Ryan that the big bed was a better choice than the now baby bed. After I showed him the cars and trucks on his sheets, it was go.

{Yes, Ryan was sleeping in the purple butterfly and flower toddler bed while Emma slept in the car and truck bed. Get over it already, Ross.}

Only someone forgot to consult Emma and she was not for this switch. At nap time I put her in the crib and she screamed and cried and cried and screamed until about 30 minutes later, it was quiet. (I had been going up and checking on her and reassuring her every 10 minutes or so) I crept upstairs to investigate. For all I knew she had figured out a way to climb out and she was in my bathroom playing with my makeup, which she had done the day before when she got out of bed at nap time.

But instead she had fallen asleep. Success! Emma may have won more battles but Mommy won the war. Mommy always wins.

If you want to be my friend on Facebook you can find me under Denise Grover Swank. And be sure to join a group I created, just this morning, titled More Housework, Less Facebook! Don't worry, it's just our cover story. We say we are going to do more housework while we really spend more time on Facebook. I can't leave my group unattended now, can I?

Ringing in the New Year and the Diversion of WWIII

Its funny how things change. There's Always Room for One more used to be "Denise's cute little blog" but over time, and not that much time, its become accepted by my kids and extended family. When we filmed our Christmas video I thought my family would think we I had lost my mind but instead they thought it was a great idea and I had several offers for be the video person. (Thanks again Kevin!)

But with acceptance came something else: Expectation. Certain events, happenings and incidents are often expected to be chronicled in "the blog," events such as Julia's New Year's Eve party and incidents, such as the one that followed the next day which was a direct result of Julia's party.

The Event

Since we had no plans for New Years Eve I told Julia that she could invite some friends over for a Slumber Party. She invited 6 friends and had only one decline, which was better than what I had expected since Julia started inviting people only a few days before the party. She told everyone as they showed up that I would be posting it on my blog. I had never promised this but I guess she thought this was a Big News event, thus a shoe in.

We had lots of snacks. We made Rotel cheese dip, had chips and dip, pretzels, M&M's, Skittles and something Julia made specifically made for the party.

A cookie cake. She had seen one at the grocery store and I suggested we make one instead when I saw the price. Julia decorated it all by herself. I pretty much clean up the mess all by myself. Unfortunately, this cake didn't last longer than about 15 minutes. So what does one do if they eat too much cookie cake?

Play Wii Fit. Not mine, mind you, I haven't got one yet. But Julia's friend Anna brought hers and those wicked girls tormented me with it all night. I told Anna if her Wii Fit was missing in the morning that I had no idea what happened to it. Wink. Wink.

The girls were in the basement. The boys were gone for the week visiting their father so we took advantage of the situation so Julia and her friends could hang out down there and hopefully not keep her younger siblings awake with all the giggling and shrieking. However, the basement was messy-- Hello! An 18 year old and 21 year old boy live down there so some cleaning was in order before hand.

Ryan and Emma crashed the party for a short time. A very short time. A little while later the girls headed upstairs to make a couple of crafts.

Julia's friend Emily brought craft items to make door hangers and decorate flip flops.

Then a little while later the girls made personal size pizzas with toppings of their choosing. They were sweet enough to let Jenna participate.

They were downstairs when the clock struck midnight but I rang in the new year in way that I don't think I could top: Watching There's No Place Like Home Part 2 from Lost Season 4, the season finale with the producer's commentary. {By the way, if Carlton Cuse is reading this-- "Red Robin"-- when can I expect you to come do my laundry?}

Lights were off by 1:00 a.m. but around 2:oo a.m. Julia came up and told me that everyone was scared and they wanted to sleep in the living room. So they went from this:

Two queen sized air mattresses, a queen size bed and a sofa to this:

One sofa, a chair with an ottoman and the floor. I have no idea how they decided who slept where. In any case, they were exhausted and I actually had to wake them up at 9:00 so they could eat breakfast before their parents showed up at 10:00. Breakfast was pancakes and bacon.

The girls left. The clean up wasn't too bad and Julia left later to take a nap at Emily's house and then hang out. Yeah, I know, how many play dates do you know that involve a nap? And more importantly, how do I get invited to one???

A few hours later the boys came home.

The Incident

The boys took their stuff downstairs and Trace came back upstairs livid. "Who trashed my room?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked. The downstairs was clean.

"My room is completely trashed!"

So I went down with him to check it out.

Yep. It was trashed. But in all fairness, it wasn't completely picked up when he left. Apparently when Julia and Emily were picking up before I got downstairs they put everything they didn't know what to do with in Trace's room. I hadn't noticed because the door was closed.

Trace stomped around for while and then a little bit later he and Ross were laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked suspiciously.

"Just wait until Julia gets home." They answered between snickers.

"What did you do?" Then they led me upstairs to Julia's room.

"Julia put boxes and crap in my room. I decided to do a little payback."

I had been dismantling Christmas so they took my empty Christmas boxes and stacked them in Julia's bathroom topping it off with her desk chair and her back rest pillow.

I knew this wasn't going to be pretty but I had their assurance that they would clean it all up after the Big Reveal. In the meantime, Trace wanted my camera.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you need pictures so you can post this on your blog." Wow. Even Trace is scripting my blog now.

Julia came home and I don't think I've seen the boys that eager to see her before. They instantly took her up to her room while I was cooking dinner. Mere moments later I heard screaming, and crying and wailing like I haven't heard in some time. That was followed by Trace and Ross' muffled voices, a door slamming and then they were back down stairs.

"I knew she'd be upset but I didn't think she be that upset." Trace said shaking his head.

"Hello! She's a prepubescent girl; you shouldn't have expected any less."

"I told her we'd clean it up but she kicked us out." I told him to give her a few minutes and try again. This time she let him in and the boxes were quickly removed and everything was righted, well almost. Trace's room was still a mess.

So there you have it. I have fulfilled my parental duty. If you have any posting offers please send them my way. Apparently I now take requests.

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Be watching for a new giveaway to be announced soon! But don't get your expectations raised too high. I won't be topping the Christmas giveaway until next Christmas.