Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Bible According to Jenna

Over the last year we've been total slackers with church. First we had a hard time finding a church we felt comfortable with. Then there's the logistics of trying to get 4 kids to Sunday school and church as a single parent. But at the beginning of this school year, I vowed that we would be better.  And other than the Sunday's we've missed because we had the plague H1N1 flu, we've been pretty good.  In fact, we're so good we've been going on Wednesday nights.   Yeah, so they serve dinner on Wednesday nights.  That's not the only reason we go.

Yesterday after dealing with the aftermath of Emma's marker mural, I decided to calm myself down with a non fat, no whip Mocha from Starbucks.  (Hey, it beats buying crack on the corner.)  I picked Jenna up from school and we headed straight to Starbucks.  On the way, I told Jenna that we were going to church later.

"I don't want to go to church!"

"But we have to go so you can learn about God and Jesus."

"I already know all about God and Jesus."

I was impressed.   At 6 years of age Jenna has achieved what most theologists have strived  for their entire lives.  "Okay,"  I said.  "Tell me about Jesus."

Jenna seemed disgusted at the pop quiz but explained, "Mary didn't want Jesus so she put him in a basket and floated him in a river and a princess found him.  He grew living with the princess."

After giving myself a mental head slap, I questioned which was worse-- The Gospel according to Jenna or when Jenna came running up to me after Sunday school last spring very excited that she had discovered that she could pray anytime, not just at dinner and bedtime.  (My friend Heather, Jenna's Sunday school teacher at the time, still won't let me forget that one.)

"Actually," I said gently so that I wouldn't upset her, "that was Moses."

"Oh, yeah."  She seemed puzzled that she had got that one wrong.  I decided to try again.

"So tell me about Jesus."

After thinking for a moment, Jenna said, "Jesus had to travel to a city really far away because people could be counted, I can't remember what it's called..."

"A census?"  I volunteered.

"Yeah, he had to travel on a donkey to a census."

Great.  I had failed my daughter's Christian education, yet ever the cock-eyed optimist, and just like when Jesus asked Peter who he was 3 times, I tried for the third time to see if Jenna knew about Jesus.

"But what about Jesus and the cross?"

"Oh yeah... Jesus died on the cross to forgive our sins so we can go to heaven."

So I wasn't a total bum.  Thank goodness.

"But I still don't want to go to church."  She added.

How could I make my daughter go to church and want to be there?  I pondered this as we waited in the Starbucks drive through lane.

"They're having fried chicken for dinner."  I told her.

"What kind is that?"

"You know, crispy chicken on the bone."

Her entire attitude changed.  "I love that kind of chicken.  I want to go to church."

That's my girl.


Kristin said...

Oh that's funny, Denise! LOL! I love to hear kid's views on things like this :)

Brandy said...

Haha! She might have it 100% but she was listening some. I'm thinking she should have to learn a verse and repeat it for each piece of chicken she eats. Food - the great incentive.

{Seriously. Food entices me to do lots of things.}

The Royal Family said...

that too cute, I need to swing by more often.

the buzz, Brandy

Beth said...

Hey if it gets her there... dh only goes on Sundays brunch is should have seen him when I didn't tell him one Sunday that it was Brunch Sunday...bahahahha!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

LOL!!! Too cute.

On the serious side, I too am worried about what the Ladies are missing from church, but with them being at their dad's every other weekend, it makes finding a church difficult.


Brenda Jean said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa Well, of course she's lured by fried chicken. Who wouldn't be?

Party of Seven said...

When you find out the solution to your question besides fried chicken let me know!!!! My kids turn into the slowest snails on earth when we pull into the church parking lot every Sunday!!!
I think next time we go to Disney or some place exciting to them my hubby and I will take the smallest baby steps from the car to the front gate and see how they react!!! :-)

Nancy said...

Love the story. My g'daughter was playing with a Fisher Price Nativity scene. My daughter asked her where Jesus's daddy was, and she said at football practice. (Her dad is a football coach.) Bet you didn't know that!!!

Crystal said...

Your kids never leave you without a funny story to tell! So glad you're back blogging!

Teresa said...

Oh that was too cute! I don't know how I found you but I am glad I stumbled upon you!!! Very cute!