Lazy Days of Summer My Arse

My lazy days of summer have yet to arrive which is really a downer. I'm one of those moms who totally looks forward to summer vacation and I'm usually not ready for school to start back up. And while part of that is because I like to sleep in in the morning, the biggest part is I like spending time with my kids.

But this summer has kicked me in the booty.

Here's a typical day in my summer life: (maybe you'll have new empathy for me at the end.)

Get up around 8:30 (yeah it's a rough life, but it gets better-- you'll see) to the sounds of Ryan moaning in his bed. Every morning he moans when he wakes up. He refuses to get out of bed so I end up yelling "Ryan you can get up" about 5 times before he finally comes to see me. It's really fun when it happens at 6:00 and I make him get in bed with me while I try to get more sleep. The fun part is when he's attempting to pry my eyes open repeating "sponge bob" over and over. (I think it's his mantra) I freely admit to being more than a little cranky in this situation. Bad mommy.

Breakfast: I try to decide whether to feed the children cereal, make breakfast of just give them Paula Deen's Three Chocolate Cookies. Today I made cinnamon raisin biscuits (from scratch) and feed the children a pound of strawberries (literally) while they were baking. With 4 kids lined up at the counter, they ate them as quickly as I could wash them and cut the tops off. In the process, there was a lot of elbowing and spilling of juice and dry cereal that was tiding them over until the biscuits where. Oh and crying, we can't forget the crying. Biscuits come out of the oven and no one eats them but me. (But I only had one. Really)

Clean up: I clean up the kitchen while the children destroy the living room, entry way and hearth room. I think I'm going to get a giant play pen. Or dog kennel.

Dressing: Drag small children one by one upstairs to change clothes. Try to get dressed myself but get distracted by Facebook.

It's now 11:00

Errands: Load 4 children with 2 car seats and one to booster seat. Drive to Office Max to finish school supply shopping. Emma rides in front of cart and Ryan in the back. Jenna "touches" the side of the cart sending Ryan into hysterical crying. Later Emma wants out to stand on the edge of the cart, I put her back in, more hysterical crying. Mommy sees total and breaks out into hysterical crying (okay not really, but I wanted to.)

Starbucks because my day just isn't complete without it (which means most of my days aren't complete) This Starbucks doesn't have a drive thru but it's right next to Office Max so I drag 4 children in with me. Emma doesn't want to leave and wanders around the store evading my grasp. She is eventually "herded" out with her siblings. Off to home

Lunch: It's now 1:00 so lunch time. Heat up chicken nuggets and serve with fresh broccoli and ranch dressing. And of course, more strawberries.

Nap time: Take Ryan and Emma upstairs for nap. Change Emma. Have Ryan pee in the toilet and optimistically put him down for a nap in panties underwear.

Nap time Part Two: Clean up kitchen, laundry, mop floor, help tackle Julia's sewing project (an apron) Check Facebook and email.

Wake up time: Ryan wakes up and has peed the bed. Emma wakes up. Change Ryan. Change Emma. Put them in front of tv to watch recorded Yo Gabba Gabba. Someone comes to front door. Ryan pees on sofa.

Clean up time: Pull out my mother's carpet shampooer (which has lived at my house for 3 months) that has a hand held attachment. Shampoo all the cushions on sofa. Shampoo mattress (Brilliant mommy forgot the water proof mattress pad) Throw sheets, pillow (yes, he peed on his pillow!) and several changes of clothes into washing machine. It's now 3:30.

Snack time: Feed children goldfish and realize that I haven't planned dinner. Pull chicken out of freezer. Watch children play outside. Check Facebook and email on my phone.

Dinner: At 5:00 I decide to make chicken quesadillas for dinner. Chop chicken and onions. Cook dinner. Eat dinner. Clean up dinner.

After dinner: Children play in backyard under my watchful eye.

Snack time: Feed children cereal, fruit, cheese or ice cream. Not all at the same time.

Bath time: 8:30 Children take a bath. Four children in one tub.

Bed time: Attempt to clothe small children. Attempt to brush teeth. Attempt to brush hair. Attempt to find Toudee and Foofa for Emma. Attempt to find one of the many blankets that Ryan has decided he needs to have at bed time yet never seem to be around. Rock in rocking chair and sing songs. Current favorite: song Mommy made up--

Who loves Ryan? Momma does. Momma does. Who loves Emma? Momma does. Momma does. Who loves her babies in the morning? Who loves her babies in the afternoon? Who loves her babies in the evening? Hmm? Momma does. Momma does! Who loves Ryan? Momma does. Momma does. Who loves Emma? Momma does. Momma does? (repeat. repeat. repeat.)

Put children in bed: Listen to Emma and Ryan talk. Try to convince Julia and Jenna that it's not child abuse to go to bed before 10:00. Girls end up in bed about 10:30 which means DFS doesn't need to be involved.

Mommy time: About 10:30. Mommy pulls out laptop and turns on HGTV. Checks email. Makes witty lame comments on Facebook. Blog (Okay, I just saw you spit out your beverage of choice all over the computer) Reads a book. Can't stop reading book. Turns off light and go to bed around 2:00 -2:30 am.

Tired yet?

Emma wakes up: 3:30 and won't go back to sleep. Drag her into my bed. She keeps asking for Ross who she knows will let her watch Yo Gabba Gabba in the middle of the night. She goes to sleep around 4:30

Wake up: 8:30 -- not looking so good now, huh?

Lately I've been trying to get some gym time in there too. I've lost 6 pounds in the last 2 weeks!!! I think I need a clone.

But there's another busy mom out there-- Melissa d'Arabian, the newest The Next Food Network Star! Her new show airs this Sunday at 12:30 eastern time. I got a press release about it a few days ago and when I got it I thought "Wow! I would so love to be part of a press conference for her!" So for once, I decided to be proactive and emailed the FN publicist that sent the email and begged offered to be part of a conference call if one was available. This morning I got an email asking me to participate! The call is set for Friday morning and I am so excited. I've got a million questions I would love to ask her but I only get to ask 2-4. Let me know if there's anything you're dieing to know.

Wow, this post turned into one big whine fest -- I think I need some cheese.