So where have I gone? And why do I feel like I'm always explaining myself?
All summer I felt like I was in overwhelm. It's better now since the kids are back in school but some days I feel like I start going from the moment I get up until the moment I go to bed. Lots of other bloggers are busy. So what's my excuse?
The beauty of reaching, ahem, a certain age (over 40) is you begin to really become familiar with who you are. I think I've reached the point that I accept some of my flaws and realize that if I haven't changed by now it probably isn't going to happen.
I've learned that I'm terrible about returning things. I've run through my fair share of video rental stores. I've funded more then a couple of books in various public libraries across the lower 48 states with over due book fines. I used to beat myself up about this but I realized that there were worse flaws and to just accept this one. I don't borrow things from friends of neighbors. I rarely rent a movie other than Netflix. I try the library from time to time and then go back to allowing myself to buy a book at Costco every other week, it's what I would pay in late fees anyway.
But I have another flaw that probably needs some work. I'm a classic avoider. The more a situation gets out of hand, the more I avoid it. It's a terrible character trait, one I really do need to work on. Honesty has always been my policy on my blog so here's the honest truth: the longer I go without blogging, the harder it is to do it.
There's so many reasons for this. One is stated above. I don't blog and when I finally do I feel the need to explain myself. So here's the deal. I've confessed my flaw and I'm going to stop apologizing for absences because this is getting beyond ridiculous. Sometime I won't be here. Sometimes I'm going to just jump right in like I have. Hopefully the more I just do it and stop being intimidated (by my ownself, I might add) the sooner I'll get back to normal. Not that anyone could really call me normal.
Two, blogging is a state of mind. When you're full on blog mode everything in your life is potential blog fodder. Your view of life is skewed a bit and it's not entirely a bad thing. But when you get out of blogging mentality its harder to jump right back in.
I'll also confess here that I've considered giving up blogging but ultimately have decided not to stop. I really like to blog when my heart is in it and I really do miss it. I just need to jump back into the saddle again.
And while we're on the topic of blogging and the love of blogging I'll mention one other thing. You probably noticed (or not) that my BlogHer ads and blog roll are missing. I removed them. They used to pay me about $25 a month but after the first of the year I was lucky to get $10 a month and I had more page loads than when I was making more. BlogHer has rules and requirements and I decided I was tired of worrying about them. There was a time that I saw getting on the BlogHer network as a sign of "making it" in the blogging world. I guess my priorities have changed. That or I've grown up a bit, as improbable as that might seem.
So, I hereby promise to stop beating myself up for not blogging more and just blog. I promise to have more fun with blogging and I promise to just get over myself. This is supposed to be fun.
1 month ago