The Cougar

When I write a blog post, I sit in a quiet spot with soothing music playing in the background while scented candles are burning around me. I'm filled with peace and serenity as the sounds of the tap, tap, tap of the keys echo in the deathly quiet room.

Yeah, right. When I write anything I have to have some kind of noise around me. When I work on my book I usually listen to music, and not soothing music. Loud music with a heavy beat. That's just one clue of many that Trace inherited his ADD from his mother. (I've never officially been diagnosed but many people have accused me of it and it wasn't without merit.) Many parents of children with ADD or ADHD have a hard time understanding why their kids need noise around them as they study. I so totally get it.

So usually when I write my blog posts, often after the kids are in bed, I have the TV on and sometimes I even pay attention to it a little bit. Last night was no exception. I was channel surfing trying to find something to watch and I happened upon a show I had seen advertised.

Hmm, maybe I want to be a cougar too. I did practice my cougar growl with Demi from the Unreal Housewives of Kansas City. I decided to watch and see if it was for me.

Then again maybe it's not.

Meet Stacey, a 40 year old commercial real estate agent with four kids. She thinks men her own age are boring and lack spontaneity and a "zest for life." Stacey's looking for a 20 something guy to spend the rest of her life with 'cause we all know how deep 20 something guys are.

The Cougar is brought to us by the creator's of The Bachelor so it came as no surprise that The Cougar makes her appearance and meets her baby's in waiting men in front of the The Cougar Mansion. Stacey was the center of attention (of course) as the men were in a semi circle around her (just like kindergarten!) waiting for their chance to make their introduction.

Oh my goodness!!! Each one was trying to out do the other with their introduction and the one who impressed her the most got one on one time first. Oh my goodness! The testosterone was flying because who has more testosterone then 2o something guys? Teen ages boys, but that probably would be illegal so they had to go with the guys in their 20's. Who could have impressed her the most? I was on pins and needles waiting to see.

It was Travis.
Meet geeky Travis who just turned 21 and impressed her by presenting her with a champagne glass. He poured them both a glass of champagne and told her it was one of the first times he had drank alcohol. Ah, that's so sweet. He's totally into anything "boarding," skate boards, snow boards. Maybe she could drop him off at the skate park later. Travis was rewarded with a nice kiss after their little chat. I hope it was legal. Maybe she should have carded him first...

It was the first of many kisses for Stacey.

Here she is kissing some other guy during their little chat. Isn't that sweet? She doesn't want anyone to feel left out. Only she has to, because before the night is over she has to "kiss off" 5 of the 20 men in the room.

Say what? Kiss off??? Instead of handing out roses, the Cougar's handing out kisses, or not. If she lets you kiss her on the lips you're in! If she turns her cheek, you're outta there! Hope Stacey brought some chapstick with her. Before the night was over she kissed 15 guys, some multiple times. Cougar gets around.

I found it interesting that as she talked to the guys, she seemed more interested in the guys who weren't into responsibility, but then maybe I misread her. Because, she must totally be looking to settle down with a young little whipper snapper. I also have to say that as I watched the boys hangin' out that I was more than a little grossed out thinking out dating one of these guys. But maybe that's just me. Can you imagine me with a 20 something guy? He'd just blend in with all my kids. "Brody! I told you that you couldn't go to the skate park until you cleaned up your room!" Oops! I've got enough babies, thank you very much.

What's the term for dating a guy less than 10 years younger? If a 40 year old dating a guy 12-19 years younger is a Cougar, maybe 5-10 years younger is a wild barn cat can be a Liger.

Remember the mythical creature created by Napoleon Dynamite? It was bred for it's skills in magic. Cool. Maybe I could use those magic skills. You're just jealous because I spent 2 hours chatting with babe's in a chat room.

Make you own dang casadilla Brody!




(Sorry, couldn't resist the Napoleon quotes/adaptations!)