LOST- Finale Jacob's Ladder

Let me start off by saying that this will obviously be a LOST post. I'm sure the title clued you in. But let me start with something UnLOSTish. I was invited to a Girl's Night Out on Wednesday night and it didn't have anything to do with LOST. In fact, I accepted this invitation last Sunday morning at church and it was several hours later before it suddenly hit me what the nagging feeling I had about having some other type of plans for Wednesday night was: LOST Finale. But here's where I might surprise you-- I went to Girl's Night Out anyway.

And you thought I was hopelessly lost.

I went to my Girl's Night Out which included dinner and a movie, and was home in time to tuck my children into bed. And then promptly left again. I was invited to a LOST DVR watch party at my brother's house. Oh yeah. So last night about 10:15, I started watching LOST with Kevin and Janne' with fair warning that there might be multiple pauses for me to explain things. (Kevin and Janne' are new LOST converts. Kevin watched Season 4 and picked up this year. Janne', brave soul that she is, jumped right in this season so naturally has many questions.) There were multiple pauses with the first one occurring about 1 minute and 14 seconds into the show.

About two hours later we saw the reverse LOST logo, black letters on a white background, and we pretty much sat there in silence. What was there to say? We were in shock. I went home and finally got to sleep around 1:30, only to wake up about 6:15-- thinking about LOST.

It was that good.

I think you know by know that any obsession will be discussed here. My apologies to nonLOST fans in advance.

First, I have to say that this episode was too epic, had too much to compress all into one post. There's no way. This morning I decided to focus on one area, or should I say person: Jacob.

{I've been formulating this all day and before I started to write, I read Doc Jensen's EW.com LOST recap and amazingly enough, he touched on many of the things I intended to say, but not all. At first I was annoyed and then I was thrilled. Usually I never think of what he comes up with. Maybe I'm getting smarter. Or not.}

The episode The Incident may have ended with a Bang but it started with one too. The bombshell of who Jacob was. I have to say that I didn't expect to see him weaving, cooking and filleting fish. Never in my wildest theories did my mind go there. But just because we saw Jacob performing this seemingly mundane tasks doesn't mean that Jacob's a mere mortal. Quite the opposite. As Jacob is kicked back munching on his Fillet O Fish sandwich watching the Black Rock sail by, a man walked up and took a seat with him. It soon became obvious that they weren't friends.

"I take it you're here because of the ship" Jacob said and we soon realized that Jacob had brought it to the island.

"Still trying to prove me wrong." The other man said.

"You are wrong." Jacob countered.

"They come. They fight. They destroy. They corrupt. It always ends the same."

"It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress." Jacob said.

The other man got a scowl, looked at Jacob and asked "Do you have any idea how badly I want to kill you?"

"Yes."

"One of these days sooner or later I'm going to find a loop hole my friend."

"Well, when you do, I'll be right here."

And so he was.

The black and white theme was carried into this scene with Jacob wearing a white shirt and the other man in black. Good versus evil. Everyone knows that the white is the good guy. Or is it?

Flashbacks for the remainder of the episode revealed Jacob visiting a succession of the Oceanic Six (as well as Jin and Locke) at pivotable points in their lives. The first was Kate as she shop lifted a New Kids on the Block lunch box, aided and abetted by a young Tom. Just as the store owner was about to call her mother and the police, Jacob showed up to save the day and pay for the ill gotten loot. He asked "You're not going to steal anymore, are you?" Katie shook her head and Jacob touched her nose and told her to be good. (He never mentions not to murder, so she's still good.) And then she's off on her merry way. Jacob saved the day, or did he?

Next up is a young Sawyer, still a little Jimmy. He's at the funeral of his parents and Jacob walked up as Jimmy was writing his infamous letter to Mr. Sawyer when his pen runs out of ink. Jacob handed him his pen, making sure that their fingers touch. "I'm very sorry about your mother and father James," Jacob said using Sawyer's rarely used first name and then he walked away. Wasn't that sweet of Jacob?

Jacob gets around. Next up is stopping Sayid as he and Nadia are crossing a street. Nadia was slammed by a car and Jacob touched Sayid's arm. This time Jacob offers no condolences but merely walked away.

I propose that Jacob was not actually performing good deeds. If Kate had followed the natural consequences of her actions, she might not have been in handcuffs on Flight 815. If Sawyer hadn't gotten Jacob's pen he might not have finished that letter after all, leading him to become a conman and a killer with an empty life of seeking vengeance. If he hadn't distracted Sayid, Nadia wouldn't have been hit by a car. In fact, I will go as far as to say that Jacob arranged the car or at the very least, knew it would hit her. Sayid became an empty shell of a man after Nadia's death.

Jacob did make some more benign and even helpful visits. At Jin and Sun's wedding he touched each of their shoulders and told them how special their love was and not to take it for granted. How about Jacob sitting on a bench reading Flannery O'Connor's book of short stories Everything that Rises Must Converge? He waited until he heard the thud of John Locke's body hitting the ground after being pushed out an 8 story window. Jacob nonchalantly walked over to a seemingly lifeless man. Jacob touched John's shoulder and John quickly inhaled. "Don't worry, everthing's going to be all right" Jacob comforted and added "I'm sorry this had to happen to you." But it could also be argued that if Jacob hadn't saved John Locke, then he wouldn't become the monster that killed him, or more accurately, the monster that convinced Ben to kill him.

The only ones left are Jack and Hurley. Jacob visited Jack as he pouted about his father intervening in Jack's OR crisis. Petulant Jack accuses Daddy of embarrassing him. Suddenly all of Jack's daddy issues now seem more to do with Jack and his erroneous perception rather than Christian's actual behavior. In any case, as Christian walks away Jacob hands Jack the Apollo candy bar that got stuck in the vending machine, making sure their fingers touch. (Nice nod to mythology. Easter egg or a mislead?) Jacob also said "I guess it just needed a little push." That's gotta mean something.

And finally, there's Hurley, actually the most informative visit. Jacob shared a cab with Hurley as he's released from jail. Hurley told Jacob he's cursed. Jacob countered that he's actually blessed; he gets to see the people he loves and cares about even though their dead. Jacob told Hurley about Ajira flight 316 and leaves his guitar case behind. Do you think there's a dead body in there?

Ilana was the only non 815 survivor to be visited. Ilana was in a hospital bed with some nasty looking wounds and Jacob came to visit her. It seemed that they knew each other when Jacob said he was sorry he hadn't come sooner and asked her to help him. It was also noticeable that Jacob wore gloves and didn't touch her when he'd been touchy feely with all the others.

I wasn't sure what the touches meant but Doc Jensen, a man much smarter than I, has a theory. He suggests that the touches are what makes sure that the Losties make it through the atomic blast and onto the other side, whatever the other side may be. I think he's onto something.

I know I said this was about Jacob but I can't help but bring up Locke. While I had considered that the John Locke walking around was some island entity, I never considered that it wasn't his body. When the Ilana crew dumped that metal crate and John's body tumbled out I was more than shocked. I was horrified. John is dead. Just add his name to the ever growing list.

Island John knew things because he's seen them before, in a time loop. He knew when to take Richard to meet Time Traveling Locke. He knew where the temple was. He even knew where to find Jacob. Island John is also Smokey. Never seen at the same time, John leaves and Smokey shows up. Island John knows things about people, Smokey knows things about people. And who is Island John/Smokey? Jacob's black shirted Frenemy. So where's Frenemy been? Until a black ash circle was broken, he's been trapped in a cabin posing as Jacob to John. He's also appeared as Christian, and I'm more than slightly worried he's also appeared to Hurley as Charlie, Mr. Eco and Ana Lucia. Island Locke needed the body of Real Locke to get to Jacob. Real Locke was the new leader so had natural access to Jacob. He convinced Locke that he needed to die and he convinced Locke he needed to turn the Frozen Donkey Wheel to leave. Poor John was playing into Frenemy's hands. I really hate to think of John as a oblivious pawn, but it really looks that way.

Island John also played on Ben's grief and guilt and appeared to Ben as his daughter. Alex told Ben to do what John told him to do, which in this case was kill Jacob. Now it was Ben's turn to be a pawn. I have to say that Jacob didn't seem too surprised to see Ben and Island John, and he didn't seem to be surprised by John's disguise. Frenemy found his loop. But what was the loop? I think it was telling John to die and making sure his body came back to the island. Everything was already in place, he just needed John's body, I'm not sure why since he didn't actually use it.

Jacob seemed resigned to his fate, even bating an angry Ben holding a knife. Why in the world would he do that? Because "they are coming." And who are they? The Losties in 1977, or at least the one's Jacob touched. The end is coming, not just the end of LOST but Jacob's and his frenemy's end game.

Is Jacob really dead? He's obviously not a normal human since we first saw him around 1845 and he looks the same over 150 years later. While his body might be dead, I think his spirit is not and he will inhabit someone else. I think that's exactly what happened to Black Shirt guy.

So, which one is good and which one is evil? While LOST makes a point of contrasting black and white quite a bit, we all know that real life is not so clear cut. I think perhaps there is no good or evil, merely two entities fighting over their personal beliefs and using peoples lives to prove their point, carnage be damned. But I guess we'll have to wait about 8 months to find out.

How will we wait until 2010?

What the...? Wednesday

What the...? Wednesday is back in theme week with Brandy². Today's WT? Wednesday is indeed what the????

Below you will find a video that I decided to use for the theme. Easy enough, no splicing clips, but I wanted a movie because Windows Movie Maker is like a new Christmas present that I like to play with even if it is a couple of days after Christmas. I could have just uploaded this clip and be done with it but noooo I had to be creative. And a procrastinator, let's not forget that one, because as ugly as I claim the word to be, I think there's no getting out of that title today. I should have started this baby last night, instead I was too busy watching Season One, Disc 3 of The Amazing Race, research you know.

So I started creating the video this morning in all the chaos of the morning rush, 'cause I'm just pure genius like that. But the chaos died down and then I dealt with a super slow computer that needs a zillion pictures deleted off, and I have backed up onto an external hard drive but honestly, it's hard to trust a little black box that has a blue box that periodically looks like it's scanning it surroundings.

But maybe I'm just paranoid.

I was working diligently on my video while Cody was stuck dealing with my wild and poopy children, when Windows Movie Maker decides to crash! And I hadn't saved the video so I spent the next 30 minutes trying to send the video clip to another computer (don't ask) and I never got it worked out. But when I opened WMM on my original computer, there was my movie in all its previous splendor. It figures. But at least it was there.

I decided my movie needed music and a better selection than was in WMM sample music. So I wasted spent the next 45 minutes trying to find the song I wanted, download it onto my computer and insert it into my video. Upon music insertion, it crashed again. And again. And again. I'm such a genius that it only took me about 6 times to figure out that this wasn't going to work, but being the eternal optimist that I am, I tried a few more times, just to be sure. I decide the clip was too big and needed to be trimmed. I knew at this point that I had spent far more time than this video deserved but by this point I wasn't going to let a computer get the best of me. After I spent the next 15 minutes unsuccessfully trying to figure out what program could trim a music clip, I admitted defeat. Publish the dog gone video already. So after about 3 hours work, no joke, (how embarrassing after you see this video I think it's best not to share that part) Here's the video.

See I told you so. You better run off and check out the Brandy's posts. They're bound to be better than mine!
I'm Not Your Average Soccer Mom
The Buzz

Oh and before I forget be sure to REALLY check out Brandy at I'm Not Your Average Soccer Mom because she's featured blogger at SITS today! Give her some comment lovin' for me.

I can't believe it's 1:30 already, how will I find time to check all my LOST sites before tonight? I HAVE to check out Totally Lost on EW.com!

Tidy Tuesday Spring Fling Winner

Wow! What a day! It was a record day for comments for me! All in all, I had 181 comments! I love it! Thanks to everyone for dropping by.

Mr Random.org to the rescue but now I have to count into my comments to find the winner!!! Okay, without further ado the winner is:

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

101

Timestamp: 2009-03-11 04:01:21 UTC

Oh man, now I have to COUNT!!! Hang on, this might take a minute...

Comment #101 is: Rachel at One Day at a Time

Congrats to Rachel. Do you mind if I hand deliver your gift card and then we head out to the restaurant of your choice together? I'm really needing a night out!



PS to Beth at The Brown Family Adventures: I take complete and utter responsibility for addicting you to LOST. I'll just add you to the body count which totals 4 now, counting you. Of course, there might be others I don't know about. In any case, in Season 3 Sawyer seems like a total @ss but just you wait until Season 4 and then 5. Girl, let me get a hold of myself, I was about to swoon. Okay, better now. Let's just say you might change your mind... and then I'll have to say "I told you so." Just sayin'. Oh and let me say, your comment gave me quite a laugh-- just what I needed after a LOOOONG day! And there will be a follow up post on my eHarmony experience thus far!

Tidy Tuesday

Welcome SITStas, and of course my regular peeps, to my own Spring Fling! Brandy at I'm Not Your Average Soccer Mom and I are having our own theme week and today happens to be Tidy Tuesday. My last Tidy Tuesday was actually Toilet Tuesday and depicted me cleaning a toilet June Cleaver style while, of course, wearing my pearls.

Today's Tidy Tuesday involves a giveaway and a clean kitchen, because who doesn't love giveaways AND clean kitchens? Oh, and I dusted off the pearls for Heather at Five Bucks.

I've been trying to eat all our meals at home and with 6 kids the kitchen tends to be a bit messy, most of the time. But I've also been trying really, really hard to keep my house cleaner and more picked up and some days it drives me a bit crazy.

I have to go baaaack!!!!
{Sorry, I've been watching a little too much LOST.}

Go back where?

To the (kitchen) island, of course. Do you think my children would buy it if I told them we all have to go back? And that we all have to clean? No? I didn't think so either. But I do think I'll start calling us the S7. (Referencing the Oceanic 6.)

{If you don't watch LOST and you've been living under a rock, I apologize for my many LOST references. Once I started this semi LOST themed post I had to take it home, baby.}

But there is a way for you to avoid this dilemma.

Enter to win my giveaway! I'm giving away $25 gift certificate to On the Border,Chili's, Romano's Macaroni Grill, or Maggianio's Little Italy. All you have to do is leave me a comment telling me that don't want to go back (to the kitchen island) either. The giveaway will open at 12:01 Tuesday March 10 and end at 11:00 p.m. CDT.

Oh, and if you are an anonymous commenter or don't have your email linked to your profile, could you save me a bit of research and leave your email in your comment? Thanks!

And when your done showing me your comment love, hop on over to Brandy's to see her own Tidy Tuesday and see what she's giving away. Meet you over there-- I'm headed there right now! I'm feeling lucky!

LOST Episode 5.08 LaFleur

I know, I know, I can hear you saying "Not again! I thought we were in the clear since its been two weeks since she felt the need to do this!" And you are so right. I had considered doing recaps the last 2 weeks but illness and birthday's got in the way. But this week's episode... I'm so sorry my observations must be heard gotten off my chest.

NOTE: To Brandy, Kevin, Janne', Tommi and whoever else is trying to catch up-- STOP READING NOW!

I've watched this a couple of times now. The first time I missed the first few minutes. I went back later and rewatched my DVR episode and at first thought I was watching the wrong episode! I'm watching Sawyer pull on a rope in the ground, Locke was turning a donkey wheel, and I thought "Dog gone that DVR! It erased the brand spankin' new Yo Gabba Gabba episode with the super cool hand washing song that even the boys liked. It erased one of my unwatched House episodes and now THIS!"

But I was wrong, because next thing I know I'm looking at the back of giant statue, which I'm guessing has 4 toes on each foot. And then there's another flash and *poof* it's gone. The well's there but the bottom is filled up and so are their noses-- no more nosebleeds and headaches.

Three Years Later:
Some groovy music, a little dancing and Phil declares it's a Hootenanny. Personally, I think there's more to a hootenanny, but maybe Phil knows better. Guess we'll never know 'cause that dog gone Horace had to go and break up the party by throwing sticks of dynamite at trees while hitting the bottle. Time to call LaFleur, only Phil and Jerry seem really scared to wake LaFleur. He must be on bad @ss dude. They knock on his door and guess who opens? Sawyer! I called it!!! Only now he's LaFleur, Head of Security, which is nicely embroidered on a schnazzy Dharma jumpsuit. (I gotta get me one of those!) I guess a lot happens in 3 years.

LaFleur/Sawyer stops to pick up a buddy, Miles! Only Miles seems to be Enis. And Horace is their leader. Flower say what? LaFleur/Sawyer takes Horace home to his wife Amy, who says old Horace got sauced over Paul. Amy doesn't want to discuss it and goes into labor. Talk about perfect timing.

Three Years Earlier:
The Back Yardigans stumble upon a mumbling Daniel. Charlotte didn't move with the last flash. To bad too, maybe Miles could have talked to her and got some answers. Daniel does volunteer some info before he loses his mind again and insists he won't to do it (Do what? Tell Charlotte?) they are stuck where they are, or more like WHEN they are.

Where to go? What to do? Sawyer wants some beach time, little vacay; Miles fears the possible barbecue of flaming arrows. Juliet grabs Sawyer's butt, I mean has his back, and then backs it up as they now stumble upon a couple of gun toting guys who just put a gunny sack over a woman's head. One guy turns to shoot at Sawyer and Juliet takes him out.

I thought for sure we'd know the woman in the bag, and although we did, not like I thought we would. From the previews, I thought it would be Kate, but thankfully it wasn't. It was only Amy. Who's married to Paul. I mean WAS married to Paul, God rest his soul.

I have to say, while I'm lovin' this kinder, gentler Sawyer, I do miss the nicknames. The only one I heard tonight was when he called Daniel "Plato."

Ingrate Amy! She gets those boys to not only bury the hostile's bodies, gets Jin to carry Paul's body and then she blasts them with a sonic fence. Not cool, Amy. Not cool.

Three Years Later:
Amy's screaming. Good! She turned on my boy and hopefully his new woman. But the new LaFleur doesn't seem to hold grudges and runs off to find Juliet who is working as a mechanic under a Dharma van. Sawyer (Jim) convinces Juliet to blow her super cool mechanic cover and become the doctor that she is. And then there's Jin. Three years has made him fluent in English and he's working in security too. Apparently they're canvassing the area looking for John and the gang. For how long, James? As long as it takes.

Juliet comes out and says momma and baby survived. She finally saved a momma and her baby. Sawyer knew she could do it. The happy smile on his face just warms my heart. Wait, let me rewind that. Yep, that's smug. Maybe I should watch it again.

Three Years Earlier:
Is is it just me, or does Daniel's declaration that the record has stopped skipping not meaning much in this episode? Back and forth, back and forth.

Sawyer wakes up in the rec room of the Other's camp and Horace is waiting for some answers. The Backyardigins have a one way ticket on a sub to Tahiti. I love how Horace tells Sawyer that he's not Dharma material. Eatin' you're words, huh Horace?

Daniel tells them again that the flashes have stopped and then he sees her. Charlotte, who turns and waves at him. No wonder she thought he was scary. He's scaring me.

Red Alert! They run into a house, look out the window and to what to my wander eyes should appear? A man with a torch and eyeliner. (Okay, it doesn't rhyme but it's late people)

{Dog gone it! How many commercials are there???? And more importantly, was that TMobile commercial making fun of ME???}

Richard's ready to kick butt and take names. The fence doesn't keep the hostiles out, but it seems that Ben had to turn it off to let them in earlier episodes. Hmmm....


Sawyer's gonna take care of things and goes to meet the Lined One. Richard doesn't know him but Sawyer grabs his attention with knowledge of certain things. Like the bomb. And Locke claiming he was leader and disappearing 20 years earlier. Sawyer tells him he's waiting for John to return. What I don't get, is why Richard wants Paul's body?

Sawyer tells Juliet they can stay two weeks longer but she says she wants the heck out of Dodge off the island. She's just going to leave him behind? Sawyer says "Just give me two weeks," which she agrees to and then I knew. My secret wish had come true.

Three Years Later:
Sawyer picked a flower.

And walked into a house with dinner and wine waiting. And Juliet. Could it be? Thank you for believing in me. Yes? Yes? And there it is, declarations of love.


By both of them. My shout of "YES!!!" could be heard two floors below. Hey, if I can't have him, I sure don't want that ingrate Kate to have him!

{Why can't I find a guy like Sawyer on eHarmony???}

Horace finally wakes up, that must be some kind of hang over, and Horace finds out he's a daddy! I sure wish we knew what that baby boy's name is because I have a hunch that we might know who he is. Word of advice: Never trust a husband who wears your socks. Or one who throws dynamite at trees. See? My blog is full of PSA's even in a LOST recap.

Sawyer tells Horace that he used to love a girl, wondering if he messed things up, but now he can barely remember what she looks like and she ain't never coming back. "Is three years long enough to get over someone?" Horace asks. "Absolutely." Sawyer replies.

Sawyer, you should never, ever say never.

Sawyer's entwined with Juliet until he gets "the call" from Jin and of course, we know what it's about. Then he's off to the north valley but he doesn't tell Juliet why he's going. Why? Did he know Kate would be there? The van pulls up, cue the violins. Hurley, Jack, and then her.

Jezebel.

And then boom, LOST and I screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Did you hear me? Because all my children did and my three youngest thought it was hilarious. Mommy aims to entertain the masses, young and old alike.

Questions raised:
Where do I find me a man like Sawyer?
Where, oh where is Danny boy three years later? We see Jin, Miles, Juliet and Sawyer, but not Daniel.
Would you still read my blog if I were dating Sawyer?
Where, oh where are Bernard and Rose? If they were in Sawyer's time they would surely have been discovered by now.
Do you think I'm obsessed with Sawyer?
Where are Sun, Frank and Sayid? They must be in the 70's because I see in the previews that they capture Sayid. NOOOO!!! Those Dharma geeks can't keep a bad boy like Sayid trapped for long.
Will they be stuck in the 70's forever?
Will we ever find out about that big honkin' statue with four toes?
Who's the baby boy that was born?
Is Big Bad Ben going to meet little boy Ben? What's he going to tell him?
When did I start using the phrase "dog gone it" every other paragraph?
What will I do next week without a new episode?

Lost Episode 5.05: This Place is Death

I know only about 5 of you will care about this post, and I'm really sorry about that. I read other sites and blogs and try to give my input there but it's just not cutting it for me. I need to spill my thoughts and its my blog so I'm going to do it here. So there! {Said with hand on hip and pouty look} Those of you who could care less about LOST, I have another post planned in my head that I'll write up latter tonight or tomorrow.

Note to Kevin, Brandy and Tommi or anyone else who is trying to catch up to the current episode: Stop Reading NOW!!!

After last week's much needed breath catching episode, this week's was everyone on deck-- warp speed. And everyone was on deck, with the exception of Hurley, who is currently in a bright orange jumpsuit in county lock up. No worries though, our intriguing lawyer, Dan Norton, will be springing Hurley in the morning.

The episode began with Sun talking on the phone to the illusive Ji Yeon. There was much speculation over the last week as to the whereabouts Sun and Jin's daughter, some of which centered on the suspicion that she might be dead. They sited the fact that Sun showed Kate a baby picture of her now 3 year old daughter. What mother carries around baby pictures of her 3 year old daughter? Uh, me. I rarely carry recent pictures of my children. But sweet little Ji Yeon's face proved the theory wrong and also offered Sun and I vindication. We don't need to carry recent pictures of our children to prove our love of them, we carry their images in our hearts.

Let me pause to grab a tissue.

But this is where our similarities end. Unlike Sun, I don't have a gun stashed inside a box of chocolate, although a box of chocolate does sound good right now. But I digress. Sun got off the phone and went straight for Bad Boy Ben to make him pay for Jin's death. Ben, however, told Sun that Jin is alive and he has proof.

Now right there, the whole world is thinking, does he have some communication with people on the island? How does he know? But Ben being Ben, doesn't produce the evidence and says he has to take Sun to see his person. And another question, how does Sun know that Ben is responsible? Only 3 people know that Ben killed Keamy with his cool bomb bracelet, and 2 of them are dead.

Sayid, being his new bad self, told Ben and Jack that if he met them again "it would be unpleasant for all of us." Coming from a guy who can break necks with his legs and take 3 tranquilizer darts and live, I'd steer clear boys. Of course it does pose a problem getting Sayid back to the island. Oh yeah, Kate also took off with Aaron. Bye. Bye.

And then there were two.
Back at the island, Jin is realizing that he is with a pregnant Danielle Rousseau and that it is currently 1988. He seems to go with the flow though and soon they are on their way to the radio tower, which is currently broadcasting the numbers.

As the Merry Band of Frenchmen plus Jin make their way through the forest, Nadine who is bringing up the rear, goes missing. That's always a bad sign. Sure enough, deja vu Oceanic Airline copilot style (but I guess it can't be deja vu if it actually happened before the plane crash), Nadine's crushed body is thrown down in the forest by none other then Smokey, himself. A short run later, Montand is face to face with the smoke monster. And then he's being drug by the smoke monster. Sure he lost his arm, but he got to see the underbelly of the temple!

Now I have to say, Montand was a butt head back in 1988 too, so safe to say a tug-of-war with his arm between Smokey and his friends didn't give him an attitude. But what I found interesting is that after the entire gang decided to go down into the hole to save Montand, Danielle was going to go too, only Jin stopped her. Danielle doesn't seem to recognize Jin in the future but obviously if Jin hadn't stopped her she would have gone down and got the "sickness" too, so something or someone must have stopped her before. Something to ponder that I haven't seen anyone address yet.

Another flash and Jin is gone and left only with a decaying arm. He heads back to the beach and sees black smoke in the distance, which is never a good sign in this show.

After he arrives, he finds an empty camp. As he looks around he finds this: Danielle's music box that Sayid fixed in season one. It's obviously the French crew's camp. He also finds something else. Two dead bodies with bullet holes.

Action happens fast on the island and immediately after Jin finds the bodies, Robert and Danielle burst onto the beach, both carrying guns aimed at each other. Too bad Jin didn't understand French because he would have discovered that Smokey is a defense system for the temple. Danielle accused Robert of not being himself after going into the temple. But Robert won her heart, declaring his love for her and the baby. When she lowered her gun, he raised his and shot, only the gun didn't go off.

But Danielle's did. She was obviously an excellent shot before she even spent 18 years alone and paranoid on the island-- she nails him right in the forehead. Jin, who cried out in warning, was now Danielle's target. He disappeared right in front of her at the temple before, so she presumes he has "the sickness." (Or would it actually be assume since she was wrong? You know the "ASS out of U and ME? Oh, well, never mind.) Jin takes off into the forest and I knew he'd be fine because, Hello! He was being chased by a 7 month pregnant woman! At seven months, I had a hard enough time walking let alone running. He started to fall down a hill and FLASH!

When he stood up and heard the gun cocking sound, I thought "Now what?" And then I heard Sawyer's voice. Reunited and it feels so good! Sawyer was pretty excited to see Jin. Sawyer is definitely a changed man. A few months earlier he would have played it cool, but he's actually becoming a human being. Who's wearing a shirt. Oh well, you can't win them all.

As Sawyer struggled to tell Jin that they were time traveling, Jin in frustration asked Charlotte to translate into Korean. Sawyer thinking Jin was talking to Miles told him to translate. Miles answers in his deadpan way "He's Korean. I'm from Encino." I really like Miles. He's a Sawyer contender.

They all start making their way to the Orchid so John Locke can do his thang and the flashes become more frequent. This proves very bad for Charlotte, who collapses and begins to relive her childhood right before every one's eyes as well as bleeding from another orifice. Only now Sawyer has a bloody nose too. Oh no! Not Sawyer!!!!! (I admit to audibly crying that out while watching the episode. Oh, and I also can't call him James. Just doesn't feel right.)

Locke insists that they have to keep moving so Daniel stays behind with Charlotte as the others move on. Charlotte tells Daniel that she grew up on the island and moved away with her mother, leaving her father behind. She said her mother told her the island didn't exist and she spent her entire life trying to get back to prove her mother wrong. Now we know why she got so excited when she found the polar bear's collar with the Dharma Initiative emblem on it's collar. But she told Daniel something else: A scary man told her to never come back to the island or she would die and she thinks it was Daniel! From the look on Daniel's face, I think it's safe to assume he hasn't warned her yet. And if he had that tie on, which I suspect he did, I can see why she thought he was scary.

Charlotte is then tempted by chocolate and dies. That will surely keep you on a diet! Daniel, even in his grief, was still wearing his tie.

Locke, Sawyer, Juliet and Miles find the Orchid and Juliet expresses her amazement that they are there when it is. FLASH! And its gone. But Charlotte had told them to go to the well, and there it is, inside a mini Stonehedge. Locke starts to climb his way down, none of that sissy being lowered down as Sawyer suggested, but before he does, Jin makes him promise to not bring Sun back. He gives Locke his wedding ring as "proof" of his death.

As Locke is making his way down the well, a light starts coming up from the bottom. It makes sense that the source of the flashes would come from the donkey wheel, but was still kind of surprising to see. Locke falls and suffers a compound fracture to his leg. Hey, he's suffered one already as well as being shot in the gut by Ben, so it's all in a day's work on the island. But after the flash, Sawyer who is holding the rope, is shocked to see there is no longer a well there and starts dig. Miles and Juliet convince him that there's no point. Poor Sawyer, just when he starts to make attachments to people, they disappear. Literally.

Locke, who is in considerable pain, is greeted by Christian. The afterlife has really ruined Christian's fashion sense-- plaid shirt, buttoned to the top. Really??? There's no dimension that that ensemble looks good. But instead of being ashamed of his attire, Christian chastises Locke for not turning wheel himself. Ben said he knew how to do it, was Locke's answer.

"Since when has listening to him get you anywhere worth a damn?" Christian responded.

Touche. Which begs the question: Why did Ben do it? If Locke had left, he would still be leader.

Locke gets up without assistance from Christian and he rounds the corner.

Holy jumping frozen donkey wheel! Ben turned it but he screwed it up. Did he do that on purpose too? All it needs is a little push, there's a flash and as the flash starts Christian says "Say hello to my son."

Locke asks "Who's your son?" but then he's gone. Christian's timing sucks.

Back in L.A. Ben's driving Sun and Jack to see "his person" and they become a couple of haters. Finally, Ben jerks the van to the side of the road and gives them his own version of "if I have to pull this car over" speech. He told them that if they only knew what he did to keep them all safe, which begs the question: What exactly did he do to keep them safe? Could it have involved our favorite bad ass Iraqi, Sayid???

They arrive at Our Lady of Perpetual Hope and Ben hands over the ring to Sun. Jin's proof that he is dead has become Ben's proof that he's alive. And Locke still kept his word. He didn't tell Sun that Jin was alive. But Ben's still talking out of the side of his mouth. "I thought you said John didn't come to you." Jack tells Ben.

"He didn't. I went to him." replies Ben. Same old Ben. Only even he seems surprised at who comes walking up to them. Desmond. Brotha! I would presume by the look on Ben's face that even he didn't know that Mrs. Eloise Hawking is Daniel Faraday's mother. How unBen like.

They go into the church and there she is, Ice Queen Eloise Hawking, who now doesn't seemed concerned by the low turnout by the Oceanic 6. They can go later. Say what?

Will Desmond go too? What about Ji Yeon, doesn't she have to go? How will Sayid change his mind, or is that the whole purpose of the men with the tranquilizer guns?

But one more thing before I wrap this up: The time traveling seems to mostly take the Losties to significant periods of time. 1954- The nuclear weapon. 1988- Danielle's crew arrives Date??? When the drug smuggler's plane crashes. 2004-- When Locke beats on the hatch and the light comes on/Aaron is born. Are they purposely moving to these significant island events or is it just coincidence?

But when was the last time you saw a coincidence on LOST?

Twenty Five Random Things

I was tagged on Facebook to write 25 Random things about me. Like the whole world doesn't know pretty much everything about me anyway. How I am supposed to come up with 25 more things???? And more importantly, if I'm going to sweat over this list then I'm multipurposing it on my blog.

So here we go! *** yawn****

1) I'm sitting here typing in wet pants. I'll leave you guessing how they got that way. (It is random)

2) I started a new writing class this week appropriately titled Memoir Writing. Guess its time to get back to work.

3) I think I'm done adopting but I keep getting a feeling that God isn't done with me adopting.

4) Julia just got her hair cut and straightened by a flat iron. It really doesn't involve me, or does it? Guess who will be flat ironing her hair all the time now?

5) Emma is a Holy Terror in public now. I took her, Ryan and Jenna to the mall play area for 30 minutes while Julia got her hair cut and I needed a Valium when I left. (again, involves me and somewhat random.) I settled for a Red Robin Santa Fe burger and raspberry iced tea.

6) Lest you think that I now have bladder control issues and I begin getting offers from Depends to do reviews on my blog, my wet pant situation is the result of Holy Terror in #5.

7) Thinking, thinking.... still thinking... my Lost obsession has reached new terrifying heights. I may have to admit myself into LOST rehab in the near future, well maybe not until the end of May when I begin suffering withdrawals.

8) Speaking of addictions. my Starbucks habit has dramatically decreased. Lack of funds+ Starbucks costs lots of $$ = Less Starbucks. (Not to worry, I make my own Mocha's every day with my espresso maker and Starbucks Mocha powder.) My brother told me he heard Starbucks is having serious financial difficulties. Now I'm riddled with guilt.

9) Twenty five????? Really???? Okay, how about this, we'll stick to the addictions a little while longer, that should get me rest of the way there. Lately I've craved pita chips. Just plain pita chips. How weird is that?

10) My blogging friend Denise trying to push a new addiction on me by encouraging me to begin watching 24, beginning with Season 1. Do I really NEED a new addiction? Did the NEED for a new addiction ever stop me before?

11) I think I may need bifocals. I'm having a VERY difficult time reading this teeny, tiny print. What is this font anyway? Font size 5??? (The font on the notes page of Facebook is so tiny that I struggled to see it)

12) Ross has got me hooked onto House. I never watched it before until last week and now I have my DVR recording multiple airings a day. The problem is I never have time to watch them.

13) I have had fabric for over 2 years that I'm going to use to make draperies for my dining room but I can't make myself sit down and sew it. (Have you EVER sewn draperies??? Its a pain in the booty.)

14) I'm really tired of cleaning up puppy poop.

15) I'm trying to coordinate and arrange a blogging friend get together sometime in the near future, probably this summer. Who wants to come????

16) I don't get totally offended when people ask me if I'm trying to be like Angelina Jolie, tell me that I AM like Angelina Jolie, tell me that I'm falling behind Angelina Jolie, etc. All I hear is "You look just like Angelina Jolie" to which I smugly respond: Yeah, I know, I hear that all the time.

17) This is to Stephen King, yes, THE Stephen King: Yes, I know I used an adverb (smugly) but felt it was appropriate in this instance. (To everyone else: Steve told me NOT to use adverbs because it cheapened my writing. We had a long conversation in bed one night about it)

18) I like snow. There I said it proudly to the world.

19) Seriously what font size is this??? I need a magnifying glass! There's probably some place on templates, profile, SOMEWHERE to change it but darned if I know where it is. I know, that's not a random fact/thing about. But what about the fact that I struggle to understand Facebook. I just don't get it. Why is someone sending me Lil Patch plants and what the heck do I do with them???

20) I am NOT having an affair with Stephen King so go call all your friends you just called and tell them its not true. He just drops by every night in his book-- On Writing.

21) Some days I wouldn't mind having an affair but don't think I have the time.

22) That said, I'm not sure I'm ready to date anyone. Its seems like so much work. Wasn't there an episode on Sex in the City about this? And if so, which girl from Sex in the City am I? I wanna be Charlotte.

23) Some days I really feel like my life is headed where its supposed to be going, like all the pieces are falling into place and I've found my PURPOSE. Other days, I feel like I've deluded myself.

24) I'm still thinking about getting a tattoo. I just want it to be meaningful so I haven't figured out what to get, or where to place it on my body. I was going get one on my lower back but Trace and Ross forbid it saying that area is a Tr@mp St@mp. Any suggestions?

25) If you're still reading you must be an insomniac. My sympathies. I want to leave you with one last gem, a pearl if you will, one randomly insignificant significant factoid. My children tell me that I snore. I personally doubt the validity of this because I have never HEARD myself snore. However, I think this means that I need my own room at our blogging get together. Oh, and my affair can't be a sleepover.

blog takeover by Jewelz a.k.a Julia

Hi it's Julia and I am doing a guest post because my mom is to busy watching lost. That show creeps me out! I don't see how my mom likes that show but I mean we have our likes and our dislikes. My mom has been preparing for this night for quite sometime.I am going to miss her, but I will be giving you a sneak peek on what she looks like when she is watching her Lost. Yes I did say her Lost.

First I am going to give you a background on myself. Right now I am in sixth grade and I am 11 years old! I went to go with my mom to get Jenna and Ryan , but not to get Emma in Vietnam. I didn't go because it was in the middle of the school year and some big projects were coming up so I didn't want to miss that. So I stayed with my friend Anna and her family it was extremely fun. It was kind of like a sleepover that never ended well until my mom got back which wasn't until seven weeks later. I do want to become an actress because everyone says I am a drama queen. Sometimes in a bad way but I take it as a compliment. You have already seen me act that way by having a fit about the boys putting all that stuff in my bathroom!

Speaking of bathrooms lets go see what my mom is up to , but you can't tell her I will be taking some pictures without her knowing. Well sooner or later she is going to find out because she ALWAYS reads her blog and has to check my post anyway just in case I didn't put anything on here that was bad like I would do that! ME JULIA SWANK DO THAT?

Now we can get on to the sneaking around and taking pictures of my mom a.k.a "My Lostie"

All right.I got up stairs that was my first step, but I have a road block! Apparently Ross had put the market in front of mom's door, but I can slip through small spaces YES! step 2 completed. Next was step 3 I had to get open the door and take a picture.

Yes! step 3 completed! I had taken a picture of my mom without her noticing. Wow she was glued look how open the door is when I took the picture that is scary!!

What's step 4 you ask? Getting all of this posted tonight and get my homework done so I don't get and academic slip (a piece of paper that you get if you don't have material that you need for that class) I am a strait A student and only have 2 academic slips. Hey that's pretty good! Well I am off to do more homework thanks for reading and hopefully my mom will let me post again bye!!!!

Jewelz<3

Getting Lost

Today I was faced with an ethical dilemma and its BIG. My dilemma is along the same line as death penalty versus life imprisonment. Life support versus pulling the plug. Stealing a loaf of bread to eat versus starving to death. All day long I've wrestled with my decision.

Should I watch Lost on Wednesday night or DVR it and watch it later when the kids go to bed? I told you it was big. Life changing. Earth shattering.

You see, Lost is an event, not an hour of television watching. Its a three hour event. One hour recap of last season and then two brand spankin' new episodes back to back. I could DVR it and then spend the evening looking longing at every television I pass in the house. Why torture myself like that? I've waited 8 months for this night.

So why don't I just watch it? I can give you four reasons: Julia, Jenna, Ryan and Emma. There ain't no way on God's green earth that those four would leave me be for 3 hours. My general rule when Lost airs is no one disturbs me unless they are bleeding, and not just bleeding, bleeding profusely. Broke a bone? It can wait an hour, shoot you'd wait at least that long in the ER. Bumped your head? It can wait. The only medical crisis that I can think of that needs immediate attention is profuse bleeding, well and maybe a heart attack. But with the oldest child on that list being 11, I think we can safely rule out the possibility of a heart attack, unless it's me after some earth shattering revelation on Lost.

{Note to self: Check into getting a defibulator machine}

What's the big deal? you ask. Go watch your "event" for three hours. If you seriously are telling me this you must be a man. Sure, if you're a guy you can hold your kids off for 3 hours but if you're a mom... let's just say you feel really loved.

Then there's the guilt. How can you abandon your children for 3 hours??? I admit, it makes me feel tremendously guilty but then I tell myself I'm pretty much here 24/7. Consider it a "girls night lost." And Ross volunteered to take care for kids.

Done deal! I'm getting Lost. But where am I getting Lost? The living room is out of the question for four very obvious reasons.

But there's my room through those double doors. Freshly cleaned.

And so many seating options. My big comfy, empty bed.

Or I could turn that big comfy chair and ottoman around and watch the tv there. But seriously, who am I kidding? Those kids will be pounding on those double doors within 15 minutes of my sequestration. Plus, the lock really doesn't work very well so the pounding will have the doors bursting open revealing Emma and Ryan and possibly Jenna and then they'd never go away. This would never work.

What to do? What to do? Looking around my bedroom I saw this:

The double doors into my bathroom.

And look at all that big open space.

I called down to Ross and soon we had those double doors off their hinges...

Because that's the only way to get that big @ss chair in the bathroom. Yep, I'm watching Lost in the bathroom. Behind not one, but TWO sets of double doors. The cable cord for the tv is about 20 feet long so it will reach into the bathroom.

I needed to practice to make sure this was going to work. Now I just need a cooler for drinks and I can put snacks on the counter and I'm set because once I close those doors I'm stuck in there until its over. If those kids see me, I can kiss it all goodbye.

If I get bored during the commercials there's a bunch of naked Barbies to play with. But somehow, I think I'll muddle through without them.

Now go away! It's time to get Lost!

And the Oscar goes to...

When I was a little girl and I had little girl aspirations of being famous and going on talk shows and winning awards, I used to practice my interviews and speeches-- just so I'd be prepared. And then I grew up and my biggest award is cleaning more than two poopy diapers per day, usually presented to me by Emma, and its usually by default. No one else wants the stinkin' award. My interviews these days consist of trying to decipher Ryan's ever increasing vocabulary:

Ryan: ouwhas

Me: Juice?

Ryan: {Nodding head beaming}

Me: Apple or orange?

Ryan: Appey

Now that I look at it, I'm actually the talk show host. Hey, I can live with that.

But I have been a very negligent, ungrateful blogger. I haven't meant to but it just happened. Things were busy and crazy and all the "izzy's" that go with life and Christmas and gigantic giveaways. Not to mention the P word, Procrastination. But now life is back to normal, whatever that is in our house, and its time to write those thank you notes.

I have been given an award! Not just one but FOUR! Three of them I received the week of the Big Giveaway, one was last week. So without further ado:

My first award is:
I don't know ** hanging my head in shame** It was the first award I received during The Six Days of Christmas and I've lost it and can't find it. I've looked everywhere. I can't even remember who gave it to me. If you gave me an award and I don't mention you I would love to have you tell me. I'll even give you your very own post!


The Second Award is from Joanne at Barely Domestic Mama and she presented me with:

This award comes with a few rules and here they are:

Put the logo on your blog or post. Nominate several blogs which show great attitude and/or gratitude! Be sure to link to your nominees within your post. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

I give this award to:

1) A Family is Forever by my friend Kristin. Kristin has 2 teenagers and 2 younger daughters adopted from China and she has a full time job teaching kindergartners! But her blog is always pretty up beat and FUN! She's the next Dr. Seuss, I'm telling you. You heard it hear first!

2) Ni Hao Y'all by Stephanie. This blog is well known in Chinese adoption blog circles. Stephanie has 8 children, so she's beat me out by 2 kids, and she has a very special place in her heart for Chinese special need orphans in need of homes.

3) Dragons and Elephants by my friend Heather. She has 3 beautiful children, her youngest an adopted son from China. Kai, her son, is facing an upcoming surgery and Heather has handled his condition and her fears with grace and poise.

4) Our Life with Lindsey by my frozen friend in Alaska, Kathy. Kathy's daughter Chelsea died 3 years ago this month but before she died she told Kathy she wanted a sister, which led Kathy and her husband to adopt from China. The strength Kathy displays is amazing and the support she offers to other grieving families is endless.

5) Kay Bratt Uncensored by author Kay Bratt. I first heard about Kay's book, Silent Tears: A Journey of Hope in a Chinese Orphanage, while I was in China adopting Ryan. Since then I have read her book, had the extreme pleasure of interviewing her for a book chat , and the honor of be able to call her a friend. Kay volunteered and spearheaded volunteer efforts in an orphanage in the city her family was living in because of her husband's job. The book is heart breaking, but as the title suggests, also offers hope for those left behind.

The third award is from Kristin at The Way It Is:


This award is given to those whose blog is entertaining and fun to read... one you get excited about when you notice a new entry! I am giving this award to:

1) Continuing the Journey by my friend Teresa. Teresa just started a job as a college professor teaching nursing students. She has a wonderful teenage daughter Meggie and a 5 year old son, Carson, who was adopted from China. Her family is not-so-patiently waiting to complete their paperwork to adopt their new daughter Molly, who is currently waiting for them in China.

2) The Princess and The Ladybug by my friend Lorie. Lorie is fairly new to the blogging world and its been fun to watch her as she learns new things. She's having a lot of fun with it and that's what blogging is all about!

3) I'm Not Your Average Soccer Mom by my friend Brandy. I met Brandy through BlogHer. We're on the same blog roll and am I ever grateful! She's just started a new blog Craving Savings
and its all about saving money grocery shopping. Girl, I'm all over that!

4) Life in the Carpool Lane by my new friend Carey. She's new to my blog roll and her posts are always so much fun! It's been fun getting to know her.


And the fourth one is from Sandy Toes at Shell in Your Pocket:

I'm supposed to list 5 addictions. Hmm... thinking of addictions isn't that tough, it's figuring out how to order them that is difficult.

1. Lost! I know, most of you think I would list Starbucks here, but Lost is almost an obsession with me right now, even more so than my beloved Starbucks.

2. Starbucks You know, I think Starbucks is starting to take me for granted. It's kind of like when you've been married for awhile and your husband starts forgetting to call to tell you he's going to be late. Or when he thinks going to the mall with you should qualify as a date. Yeah. So I'm making Starbucks #2. Sometimes its good to let them sweat a little. But I swear, if Starbucks starts watching Nascar and drinking beer while I'm trying to watch HGTV then it's moving to #3!

3. Diet Coke You don't hear me talk about Diet Coke but those around me know its the only soft drink I will consume. (Just look back at my SITS Christmas card to see all the cans around me.) In China and Vietnam they had Coke Light, which is supposed to be the same thing but in reality, is not. I did lower my standards to drink it though. While my love affair experience with Diet Coke has been longer than Starbucks, it runs longer but not deeper. What can I say? I'm a beverage polygamist.

4. Blogging Blogging is like my own personal therapy. And its fun and its free, which comes in handy when you find out your income has decreased in 2009.

Okay, trying to eliminate all my other addictions to list just one more is hard.

5.Reading I'm putting reading because when I read a really good book the rest of the world is expected to stop while I read it. Unfortunately, the rest of the world never agrees.

So now I award this addiction award to:

1) Lulaville by Lula, because she just might be as addicted to Lost as I am. She does have links devoted to Lost but I have a bigger and better Lost count down. She even admitted it! Plus it seems like she has a lot of addictions. Just like me. I think we could have a beautiful future together.

2) Under the Misty Mountain by my friend Cynthia, whom I've known since October of 2003 while we were both waiting for our referrals from China. I happen to know her latest obsession is her new son, Nathaniel Jin Pei, who she is in China adopting at this very minute!

3) The Johnson Family Tales by my friend Heidi. Heidi is another friend from the BlogHer blog roll. Heidi seems to have everything "so together" that I'm curious to see what addictions lie below the surface!

**********************************

It was REALLY hard to award these awards. For one thing, I HATE to leave anyone out! I don't ever want anyone to get their feelings hurt. Dork that I am, I hate it when there's only one winner in my own giveaways! How crazy is that??? So it was hard for me to choose. And another reason this was hard is that I've got many new readers that aren't on my blog roll. I read most of my blogs from my blog roll on the side there. So I have a favor to ask of you:

If you are currently not on my blog roll, will you please leave me a comment giving me permission to add you? And if you have more than one blog will you let me know which one you want me to add? Thank you!!!

And one more thing, and maybe this is a bit self indulgent, I dunno know, but I thought I would try something new. If you have any questions about me, or my family, or Darrell, or anything at all, ask me in the comments and I'll be happy to answer them on Sunday.


Whew! If you all had any idea how long this post has taken to write! I literally started it on January 5th!

I Hereby Resolve

I never make New Year's resolutions because like every other person on the planet, I don't keep them. So what I'm about to list shouldn't be considered resolutions but merely things I should be doing anyway and I resolve to really try to do them.

My 2009 "To Do" List

1. Get my paper work under control.

This is my current filing system for paperwork. Really? Really, really. (Sorry, watching Shrek with the kids) I know, I know, this is bad. I'm really going to be up a creek when I start my taxes in a few weeks.

See this beautiful filing cabinet? I haven't found the keys to it since I've moved and I put all my paperwork in this laundry basket until I found them. However, after 6 months I think I can kiss any hope of finding them goodbye.

I hereby resolve to get my paperwork under control and filed in actual files, alphabetized even.

{See I TOLD you that these were things I should be doing!}

2. Keep my house picked up and looking beautiful.

All right! You all can stop laughing now! Look at this:

And look at this:

Yeah, who's laughing now??? So I pick up all the live long day to keep it looking like this, so what? My house should be in a magazine. Or I should win some kind of award or something!

Oh, and by the way, these pictures were taken TONIGHT, not back on Christmas when all my company was here. So there!

3. Fold my laundry and put it away the same day it emerges from the dryer.

What? You think that goes with #2? One would think but this photo was also taken tonight:

See why I need #3? This laundry has been here 2 days. I think the key to keeping this resolution is to never take my laundry out of the dryer. (This is in the upstairs landing. Does that fact that my laundry is laying around the upstairs landing mean that I've already broken #2?)

4. Lose about 50 pounds and get in better shape.

Not that 50 pounds! And not even 50 pounds, more like 30. I suppose if I'm going to do that I better stop eating these Ruffle potato chips and French Onion Dip. Seriously, I'm literally eating them as I type, which isn't easy, I might add. I'm that talented.

What I really want to get is one of these:

Good luck with that! They were sold out everywhere before Christmas, believe me, I looked. But maybe after the Christmas excitement dies down I'll find one.

Does that mean that I don't have to work on this resolution until then?

5. Write and finish my book and actually get it published.

I'm working on this one! I'm currently taking a creative writing class online and the instructor read what I have posted here on my book blog and loved it. She told me it has real potential and encouraged me to take a Memoir Writing class online that works with you and your actual manuscript and helps you prepared it for submission.

6. Watch Lost.

That's really hard for me but I'll try really hard to do it. It shouldn't be too hard when I can see this:

Sorry, I've joined Team Sawyer. Sawyer had me at his line to Locke "You hurt one curly hair on his hair and I'll kill you." in regards to Locke forcing Hurley to stay with him at gun point. I already knew Sawyer had changed and was no longer the self centered guy he was 102 days earlier when he crashed on the island but this proved it. Plus, Jack's just gone wacko. Who needs that? I got bushel baskets full of wacko in this house. Not to mention that while Sawyer's beard looks sexy (sorry kids, I know you'll gag when you read this) Jack's looks plain nasty.

Even I have standards. I'm desperate but not that desperate.

7. Be a better Mommy.

Perhaps a good place to start is to actually feed my children real food instead of forcing them to scavenge for plastic grapes at Hobby Lobby. Or maybe even wash their face before I take a picture of them. (Example photo of Ryan #4 above) Perhaps actually read the books that I allow them to check out of the library. Or stop embarrassing them in front of their friends by singing High School Musical songs in the car.

Or not.

8. Redevelop a closer relationship with God.

I used to have a closer relationship with God, especially while Darrell was in the hospital. I was sure that God was telling me that Darrell would be healed. I now realize He was telling me that Darrell would be healed in Heaven. But the days and months after Darrell's death I felt betrayed and I didn't trust what I read in my bible. So I put it away. I've taken some Beth Moore bible study's since but with the babies and avoiding church nurseries, I haven't regularly attended church in almost a year and half. And I miss it. I need it. So I plan to find a church home and regularly attend and start daily devotions again. Because the first seven resolutions don't mean anything without this one.

I wish you all a very happy and healthy new year! I appreciate every single one of you. You make my life so much better!

Now, what are you all resolving to do?